Dead Letters
by Random-Girl87
Summary: Edward and Bella were teenage sweethearts. Everything was perfect until Bella received a letter from Edward asking her to leave. 3 years later Bella&TheCullens meet again. So whats up with Edward? And why does he say that he recieved a letter from Bella?
1. Chapter 1

**Whooo! New Story. I've had this idea for ages! And finally got around to writing it. So i hope you like it. I got the first four chapters all worked out and then I'll see what people have to say about it:] **

**Btw i am a TERRIBLE updater. But i do try:] Plus i got 2 weeks holidays[although i should use it for revising but shhhh!] so it shouldnt be a problem. This is my first Twilight story so please be nice:] Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Dont own anything. Not even a strand on EddieBoys head:[**

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV.**

I woke to the sound of my alarm clock. God, I hated that thing. It always woke me up when I really didn't want to get up! I sprang out of bed, grabbing a pair of jeans and a logo top. I showered, brushed my teeth and applied the basic make-up. I'd changed my style a little since I'd left Forks. I still wore 'boring' clothes as my old friend Alice would call them but I now dressed them up a little. I brushed my hair and let it fall naturally; it always looked best when I did it that way.

"Rosalie!!" I called out, no doubt I would have to go in and wake her. The place was a mess. I desperately began cleaning up, we were expecting a new roommate any day now and I don't think she would really appreciate the state our living room – all of our rooms - were in right now. I grabbed a bunch of paper cups and plates [Rose likes to hold a few parties here and there and every night] and placed them in the trashcan. "Rose!" I yelled again, knocking on her door a couple of times. I heard a few mumbles but knew she no doubt let her head fall back on the pillow. Once I had got the living room to a suitable standard just in case the newbie decided to jump in to the room any seconds [Years of having Alice as a friend gets you prepared]. Thinking of Alice always made me depressed. She was my best friend, along with Rosalie, up until I left Forks. Thinking of Alice always made me think of Edward. And thinking of Edward? Always made me want to cry my eyes out and spend days eating nothing but chocolate and ice-cream. Lucky for me, I like ice-cream.

I walked back past Rosalie's room after I had got myself a glass of orange juice and a bowl of frosties without milk. I knocked again knowing it was pointless. She didn't even mumble this time. I shook my head. Pathetic…I thought. Can't even get up at a decent time…

I looked around the living room; it wasn't the cleanest it had been but not the messiest either. I'd shoved the paper plates and cups in a black bin bag, I looked over at the phone and then back at Rose's door. I smirked to myself.

"Oh, Rose!?" I sing-songed out to her. I was so conniving sometimes.

"What?" I heard her muffle out from what I presumed was her pillow. I looked down at out coffee table and picked up a piece of ripped notepad paper with scrawny handwriting written on it.

_John Nichols. _

_I'll Call You Tomorrow. _

"…Some guy called John is on the phone for you!" I called out again, my voice getting louder, knowing that she was probably sitting up in bed right now with a gob smacked look raked on her face. "He says he met you last night-" I was cut off when Rosalie's bedroom door was banged open and she was standing there, dressed head to toe in designer jeans and what not. She looked like she belonged in a fashion magazine. Her make up, her hair, everything was …immaculate. In the space of not even three minutes. I stared at her in awe.

"Really? Calling? Wow, well I didn't expect that…" She gushed, a grin on her face. "Wait, why is the phone still connected to the….BELLA! YOU BITCH!"

I laughed, okay so Rose scared me and all but she wasn't half funny when she got pissed. I shrugged my shoulders in a 'I don't know what you're talking about manor' and headed into the kitchen. She quickly followed.

"I can't believe you did that, Bella!" She sighed. "So cruel…I would never do anything like that to you-" I scoffed.

"That's total bollocks, Rose! Lets not count how many times you've poured water on me, to wake me up when you want to go on one of 'fabulous' and 'extravagant' shopping sprees! And lets not mention the time you put custard on my head!!!! While I was sleeping!" Throughout my whole yelling session, Rose appeared to have a smirk plastered on her face and she was silently giggling to herself. I scoffed.

"Screw you Rose!" And stuck my tongue out. Rosalie began spooning ice-cream out of the tub and straight into her mouth. I pulled a face. "Rose, its not even nine and your eating…ice-cream?" She stopped for a second and looked at me, she opened her mouth but I quickly interrupted. "It was a rhetorical question, Rose." She shrugged her shoulders and flipped her hair back.

"So, what's your day today then?" I sighed and looked towards the ceiling, trying to remember what classes I had for today.

"I've got work first ten till three and then I got English Lit at four for an hour."

"Oh, how exciting!" Rosalie replied, her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Uh huh, sure. Anyways we get to find out whom my new teacher is. They finally found a replacement."

"Took them long enough. It's been months!" I nodded my head in agreement, messing around with paper files and documents that were strewn all over the place.

"So what are you up to today anyway?" I asked, not all that bothered. Rosalie's day consisted of shopping, manicure, massage, pick up a hot guy, bring him back here… You get the picture.

"Erm…actually I'm meeting an old friend…" She muttered so low that I had to lean in to hear it.

"Oh, how interesting. Who?" There was a pause of silence.

"Oh…I erm…I'm not really actually sure…" I looked up at her and stilled my movements.

"You're not sure who you are meeting today?" She began to shook her head, avoiding my gaze, I noticed.

"Nope…"

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing! Anyway I have got to go. So I'll call you later, see you later, maybe later… Bye!" She had been walking towards the door all this time, I had tried to chase her to the door before she escaped but I tripped over my foot.

"Bitch…" I muttered under my breath.

--

"Have a nice day." I grinned. I hated grinning when I wasn't in a good mood. Luckily for that woman I was in an okay mood. More confused. Like what the hell was going on with Rose? She's only ever secretive around me if she thinks I wont approve. Like that time when she slept with two people at the same time. I don't know why she thought I would freak out though. I mean I would probably never do it myself but I'm no virgin either! No, Edward saw to that…

I shook my head, there I was…thinking about Edward again. For fucks sake, even when the guy is hours away from me, he still manages to insert himself into my brain. Dickhead.

I loved my job, it was only a few hours everyday but I still loved it. Who wouldn't love working in a shop that was CD and DVD galore? It also sold the odd book too! Heaven!

I lifted up the box of all the latest DVDs and began putting them on the shelf. I could not wait for this weekend. Rose and me were planning on crashing driving up to Bel Air to have Medi-Pedis and facials. Okay, usually I don't like this kind of thing but I'm in the mood to be pampered and I am beginning to get real tired of clothes. They're so hideous and cover me up way too much for my liking.

"Bella." I looked up to see my co-worker Jacob standing next to one of the stands, stacking some DVDs. I smiled.

"Hey, what's up Jacob?" He had been my friend ever since I had moved to Berkeley, which was a year. He made his way over to me and leaned against the till.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked. I was a little taken back. Sure, we were friends but we never really hung out and Jacob certainly never asked me what I was doing.

"Erm…I'm not really sure. Something with Rose I guess." I remembered what Rose had said this morning. It was really starting to irk me that I didn't know what she was up to. Rose told me everything, just like I did her.

"There's a party tonight. At my dorm with Mike. We need to fill up the space. Interested in coming?" Ah, so that was why he asked me. Don't get me wrong. I don't fancy Jacob or anything – No way! Not my type. He was too much of a womaniser for me. Plus I'd never go near him after what he did to his ex, Nessie. Plus, I tried many a times to move on from Edward. The Outcome? I'm still single.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe. I'll check with Rose. Thanks for inviting me anyway." I gave him a small smile and went back to my work. Jacob stalked off a few minutes after and I served another customer. After the store had died down and I was left to my own devices, I got out a piece of paper out my jean pocket. I had kept this piece of paper for three years. I read it almost everyday and my heart broke still now, every time I read it.

_Dear Bella, _

_I don't know how to tell you this. I guess, I'm a coward. Taking the easy way out. I just couldn't face you. I can't tell you this to your face. When we met it was the best day of my life. Or at least I thought it was. But in the last six or seven months, I haven't been feeling the love I felt for you when we were first together. I can't pretend anymore just to make you happy. _

_You are not who I want, anymore. I know we planned a life together but I just can't stand the thought of being tied down to you. I need to concentrate on my academics and I can't be around you in order to become the doctor I always wanted to be. _

_I should have broken this off when I first started having these kinds of feelings but I felt that I couldn't. Every time you saw me you'd grin your perfect smile and I would feel a twinge of guilt in my heart knowing that I didn't love you anymore. I am sorry but I can no longer pretend. I can't concentrate on my classes or my studies because I spend all my time with you. And If I'm not spending all my time with you then I am thinking about not wanting to be with you any longer. You're making my life difficult and I feel like I want to take a knife and stab myself in the chest so I can no longer feel this pain. _

_I know it's selfish of me to ask you this but please…I need you to leave. I need you leave Forks and never come back. I don't want any contact with you. Don't call me, don't write to me, nothing. You have no idea how hard it is to write this to you, Bella. Knowing that you are crying right now. I will never forgive myself for making you think that I loved you. _

_I am begging you to just leave me in peace. _

_I'm sorry. _

_Edward. _

I felt a tear drop down my cheek and onto the already worn out paper. I'm surprised I could still read it after the amount of times I had cried and the amount of tears that had fallen. I didn't understand it. We were so happy. Or at least I thought we were… He told me he loved me everyday. Multiple times a day. So why did he say he did? I had so many questions…and I wondered if I was ever going to get answers.

--

"Hey, you took your time getting here!" Rose said as I took a seat next to her. I shrugged my shoulders and got out my pen and notebook.

"Sorry, my shift ran over late."

"Oh, well anyway. Mr. Fellows isn't here…again." I rolled my eyes at this statement.

"Jeez, they might as well just replace him." She went quiet and looked at the floor.

"Yeah, might as well." I looked at her with a weird expression.

"You okay?"

"What? Yeah, fine!"

"Okay…where did you go earlier anyway?"

"Oh that? I erm…" She was cut off by the substitute entering the classroom. Rose looked at the front and completely avoided my eye gaze. What is wrong with her? She's my best friend…so why is she keeping this from me? I wondered if maybe it had something to do with Emmett. She calls him weekly and recently they've been having a few fights over something Rose refused to make clear to me. The sub set up all her stuff on the desk and turned to face the class.

"Hello everyone. I will be officially replacing your teacher Mr. Fellows as he is not expected to return anytime soon." Finally, a stable teacher… I took a bottle of cola out of my bag and took a sip. "My name is Esme Cullen and I am originally from Forks. I just moved here and I can't wait to meet you all and see what a talented class I have." I spat out my drink, the girl in front of me squealed and stood up.  
"I'm so sorry!" I quickly said putting my drink away. "Really, I…" I stopped when I noticed the glares she was giving me. She flicked her hair, picked up her stuff and stormed out of the class. "Shit…" I muttered beneath my breath.

"Wait to go, Bella." Rosalie murmured next to me. I turned to look at her, a wide-eyed expression on my face. She knew…

When the lecture was over, Rosalie headed out of the class almost straight away, I practically ran right after her. I grabbed her hand and she span around to face me.

"Rose…You knew? Why didn't you say anything?" She sighed.

"I'm sorry. Bells, I didn't know how to tell you. I knew you'd freak out." Erm…yeah! "Look, that's why I've been so distant I've known of her arrival for a while. Emmett's been wanting to see me and I…" That would explain the arguments with Em then. I wanted to continue listening but there was only one thought on my mind.

"Is he with her? Are they all here? Is…did Edward come too?" Rose didn't say anything, just nodded. "Great…just… fan-fucking-tastic." I muttered to no one in particular. I began heading towards my dorm when Rose laid her hand on my arm and stopped me.

"I am really sorry Bella. I just didn't know how'd you react." Her voice sounded sincere enough so I shrugged and made my way to my dorm. Rose in tow.

Once I had gotten to my dorm, I flicked my laptop on and set up my printer in order to print of my essay. I was majoring in Journalism and English Lit was the lesson that Esme was taking me now.

"Who's that for?" I looked down at my paper as it came out of the printer, quickly scanning the words, I sighed.

"English Lit." Of all classes. Its final date was today which meant I had to go back to Esme and hand it in. With any luck she won't recognise me. The question was did I want her to recognise me? Did I want to reconcile with a woman I had considered my second mother, in fact she was more like a mother to me considering my mother was never in my life much, even before I moved to live with my father. I missed Esme; I missed all the Cullen's. I would give anything to see them again, ALL of them again. I just wasn't sure if now was the right time.

"Are we going to hand it in now?" I nodded and stood up, my paper in my hands and we made our way to Esme's room. I knocked on the door and heard the murmurings of a 'come in'. Rosalie followed me in, her heels clicking and clacking behind me. I turned to look at her and gave her a small smile. She grinned back and we turned to face Esme, who was grinning at us. She looked so beautiful. I really didn't think she looked like an almost-forty year old woman. She looked so youthful and poise.

"Hi, can I help you?" I was dazed for a few seconds; I was hearing the voice of someone I hadn't heard from in three years! It would freak anyone out!

"Oh, I erm…came to hand this in." I held out my paper to her and she took it gracefully.

"Oh, well thank you." It was then that I realised the whole family was there. What was once an engaged conversation, they were now all looking at us.

"Rosie?" Ah, shit it was Emmett. And man had he buffed up? It didn't take long for Rose to click who was calling her the 'dreaded' nickname.

"Emmie?" She squealed and ran to him, jumping into his arms. I rolled my eyes, they might as well of taken their clothes of there and then. I turned to go but I heard Esme's voice once again.

"I'm sorry but I'm going to need your name." What? I turned back around to face her.

"W-what?"

"Your name. I'm asking all the students so that I can get to know them a little bit more." She grinned, obviously completely unaware as to whom she was talking to. I looked at the family surrounding her. Well except Rose and Emmett who were…a little to busy right now…if you know what I mean? Carlisle was standing behind his wife's neck, gently running a hand through her hair. That couple could survive anything. Alice was cuddled into Jasper, slightly giggling but still the pair's of eyes were now fixed on me. And then of course, my eyes laid on Edward's. He had become even more handsome then the last time I saw him. So beautiful and yet a pained look remained in his eyes. He looked at me, his eyes searching and roaming all over my body and face. As if he knew me from somewhere. Oh boy did he? Esme coughed to get my attention. "Your name. Sweetie."

"Oh erm…" I leaned forward towards her and muttered real quiet, so that she could only hear me. "Bella. Bella Swan." And as if by chance had it…

"I'm sorry what? I didn't hear that." No, of course you flaming well didn't.

"Bella Swan." I said it quietly again. She grimaced but still managed a smile.

"Little louder?" She asked, questioningly. Her usual rosy cheeks and gone a colour darker, she was obviously a little embarrassed by me. I looked at her, to Carlisle, to Alice and Jasper, to Emmett. I saved Edward till last. My eyes resting on his only a moment longer then they did on anybody else. Fuck it, I thought. You were bound to come into contact with them sooner or later.

"My name is…Bella Swan." I said loudly and clear. Despite feeling like a huge weight had somehow been lifted of my shoulder it didn't stop me from wanting to run away and cry. Which is what I did, especially when I saw Alice's eyes go wide, Esme gasp and Edward just kind of stand there. His pained eye expression deeper now then ever.

How the fuck was I going to get out of this one?

**So what do you think? Should i continue? Do you like it? :/ **

**Review Please :]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the wait. I did pre-warn everyone about my terrible updating. I wanted to upload this today as i have my first exam tomorrow and I'm...well to put it bluntly, shitting myself. And they arent even important :/ **

**Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed, Story Alerted, Favourited when i posted chapter one. Thanks so much!!! I couldnt believe it when i logged on the day after and saw 27 e-mails connected to this story. So thanks again lol ^^ **

**I wasnt originally going to do this scene from Edwards POV but I figured it might help to kind of see why the Cullens are at the college and stuff too. There wont be a lot POV change, mostly Bella's so this is more of a one-off really. **

**Enjoy:]**

**Chapter 2**

EPOV

"Tell me again, why we are moving?" I asked from the backseat, I was playing on Alice's Nintendo DS. I was stuck in a seven hour-long car drive, so you can't really blame me. Alice groaned, she was sitting next to me and getting completely fed up of me constantly asking my parents. It was okay for her, and Emmett for that matter. Rosalie Hale was a student at Berkeley University, but me? I was leaving all my friends behind. I suppose I had Jasper, who was joining the university pretty much as we speak. And yeah I could make new friends…but still Forks was my home, I'd lived there all my life, my memories were there. It was the one place I could go, be on my own and just be surrounded by the memories of Bella. Sometimes I thought I could even still smell her, that her presence was still there, all around me. I missed her so much. But she just had to leave, she didn't love me anymore. My mother sighed from the front seat.

"For the forty-seventh time, Edward." Seriously, was she counting? I hadn't asked that many times, had I? "Your father was offered a job at the new hospital, you knew there was a possibility of moving when we got the phone call about the new hospital being built in the first place. Your father also decided for us to move so that I would have the chance to apply as a lecturer at Berkeley." I rolled my eyes, I already knew all this. I meant it as a rhetorical question; I just wanted to complain about it some more.

I leaned my head back with a huge impact, Alice who had temporarily had her eyes closed, had shot up and turned to look at me with a furious expression on her face.

"For Quavers sakes, Edward." She always said this; she'd been saying it since she was a little kid. Ever since we took a trip to the UK and she had a packet, she'd gone crazy. She loved them! So much, she even forced my dad to get them imported to us every month. There a packet of fucking crisps! I rolled my eyes at her, which she appeared to notice. She hit me round the back of my head.

"Do not roll your eyes at me, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" She squealed, Christ I hated it when she used the dreaded 4-word long full name. "Do you hear me, Edward!?" I waved my hand in her face as if to waft her away.

"Yeah, yeah Alice I hear you!" I could hear Esme let out a slight giggle from the front seat, Carlisle had glanced into the rear view mirror and smirked me, whilst Emmett was pressed up against the window, mouth agape and snoring at normal Emmett volume. Which is loud!

--

I stepped out of the car, outside our new home. Well, me, Alice and Emmett would be living on campus but we had all decided to make regular stops at Esme and Carlisle's house. We also 'decided' meaning guilt tripped in by my mother to stop at the house on most weekends. However, despite it most probably ruining frat party plans, I did get to have my own room, which was a bonus as for the last ten years of my life with Emmett. I don't think I need to go into detail about how many times he belches through the night. How Rosalie has put up with him all this time I don't know. I grabbed the first two suitcases and duffle bag, I lifted them and pulled them into the hallway. Which appeared to be never ending. Despite being told to help, I decided to take a quick look around. The place was huge! Jeez, a whole orphanage could stay here but I guess my parents have always been into that 'I'm going to go completely overboard on absolutely everything' thing. Don't get me wrong, my parents were the nicest people you could ever need, I don't think my mother ever had a selfish bone in her body and well my dads devoted his whole life to helping people so that kind of stands for itself.

"Edward, I thought you were going to help?" Alice moaned, chucking a no doubt, weightless bag of her shoulders.

"Yeah, man. Jeez thanks a lot." Emmett came barging in the room, carrying a total of five bags. That guy could probably balance a fast food restaurant if he was given enough food or sex from Rosalie.

"Come on, now children. Don't argue. This is supposed to be a happy day. Our new life." My mother smiled, her sweet smile and heart full of gold. I grumbled. I didn't need a new life. I was perfectly happy going to the forest, sitting on the same rock I had been for the last three years of my life and thinking of her. My sweet, beautiful Bella. _Why did you leave me so?_ You know why, you fool. Oh did I know? I had the letter to prove it.

I headed up to the third floor, swiftly followed from the rest of my family. There were three bedrooms and despite it being smaller, there was another room all on its own on the fourth floor. And of course I wanted, however I had a feeling Emmett would get it. Lord knows, the whole family doesn't want hear him 'banging' Rose at all hours of the night. Carlisle came up behind me and moved so he could stand in front of us, he got out his finger and began pointing at us in his extreme father mannerism way.

"Now, I don't want you arguing over these bedrooms, so me and your mother have decided what rooms you will be getting." He pointed at what I presumed was the biggest room of the whole household. "This is mine and your mother's room." He moved swiftly onto the next two big rooms positioned next to Carlisle and Esme's rooms. "Your mother and I am assuming that both Jasper and Rosalie will be staying here frequently." The good thing about Carlisle and Esme was that they really didn't mind about what we got up to with out partners, just providing we didn't shove it in their faces or as long as we weren't too loud. They hadn't had to have been worried about me for quite a while. I think my dicks been in hibernation for the last three years. "So we decided the two big rooms go to Emmett and Alice." Alice squealed in delight and threw herself at my father whilst Emmett hugged my mom. "So, Edward you get the room on the upstairs floor. Is that okay?" Isolated from everyone around me? It was MORE then okay!

"The good thing is, Edward. You get your own bathroom too. There is a en suite." My mom obviously forgot about who she was talking too. I was really fine with the small room, whereas Emmett and Alice would have no doubt complained. I smiled at my mother and hugged her.

"Its fine, really. In fact it's the room I wanted." I smiled genuinely at her and she grinned back, a gleam in her eye. When everything was moved into the house and the removal van turned up, I decided to head upstairs and lie down on the floor. The carpet beneath me had a rough texture and yet I found it extremely comforting. I would miss my old room. The good memories I had, the sleepovers, the first time I got drunk, the first time I kissed Bella, the first time I slept with Bella. Instinctively, my hand reached down to my jean pocket and I pulled out the scrap of paper. The edges were torn and the paper consisted of her messy handwriting. She loved my handwriting, always complimenting it and referring to it as 'elegant'. I personally loved her handwriting. It suited her personality.

_Dear Edward, _

_God, this is so hard to say. Which is exactly why I am writing instead. You know I've never liked confrontation. But, I…I guess… Our relationship isn't what it used to be Edward. We used to laugh and play and be really comfortable around each other, now it is awkward and silent and I don't feel I can confide in you anymore. I don't feel I can even trust you anymore either. God, I can't even trust myself. It was like we became a schedule, the romance and the passion isn't there anymore. I loved it when you would just pop over to my house unexpectedly, but now that is gone. Our love is gone…_

_Now I am questioning myself if I ever truly loved you. Did I? I am not sure. Maybe I will never know. _

_However, there is someone I love. Please don't hate me. I tried. Really, I tried to fight my feelings for him. I told myself everyday that the love I was feeling for him was really for you. I tried to tell myself every night I woke up after I had dreamt of him…that it was really you in my dream. But I am tired of pretending. I am tired of telling myself that I love you when in all honesty I don't. Maybe I never did. The person, this guy that my heart belongs to…I told him I had to tell you and then I had to leave. _

_We are going away together. So that we can be together. Happy and in love. Just like we used to be. The neighbours will frown, I am sure but what I care about is you. Despite, what this letter may make you think, I do care about you Edward. Which, is why I am going away. So that you wont have to see me and him together. Happy. _

_I am sorry Edward. A million times sorry. Please believe me. _

_I pray that we see each other again, maybe when you have forgiven me. If you ever forgive me. _

_Just remember, despite what I may say. Our relationship was never a lie Edward. _

_I have loved you but I have grown up and sometimes that love goes away. My love for you has gone away. _

_I'm sorry. _

_Forgive me. _

_Bella. _

--

"I am so excited for you all to see where I work!"

"Mom, have you even seen it yet?" Emmett asked, occasionally glaring at Alice who was dancing around the pavement like she was some sort of fairy. I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the ground beneath me. Tiles. Such interesting shapes, don't you think? Emmett nudged into to try and get my attention, I glanced at him and realised that my mother had just asked me a question. I looked at her and she smiled at me sweetly.

"Edward, are you looking forward in enrolling here?" I looked around the campus. The café's, the coffee bars, the people glaring.

"Erm…yes. Everybody seems so…friendly." I responded as a high-heeled beauty queen walked past me, glaring. She laughed and I heard my father chuckle beside her. He wrapped his arm around my mother and pulled her close.

"You kids will all be fine. Your mother will wow the students with her charming smile, Alice will kick all their asses with her dance skills, Edward will whoop their asses with his brain and good lucks – that he gets from his father!" He smirked and we all let out a small laugh, he looked over at Emmett who was…somewhere else. "And Emmett will…Emmett will be Emmett and get his ass kicked by Rose." We laughed again until Emmett interrupted us all by practically jumping on us.

"There she is! My baby! My sexy, gorgeous girl I wanna fu-"

"Emmett."

"Sorry mom. Rose! ROSE!" Rosalie Hale stood there in all her perfection, she looked like a model in the making. Her brother Jasper stood next to her. The whole family really looked like they belonged in a catalogue of some sort. But who was I to complain? The Cullen family had been told often that we too, were a good lucking family. So why couldn't I get a girl? _Shut up dickface, you don't want a girl._ I sighed and grinned as Rosalie and my best friend made their way over.

"Eddie boy! My man!" Jasper laughed as he made his way over towards us and we man-hugged. I laughed, you'd have thought we hadn't seen each other for years. After we were all done hugging Rose and Jasper – Alice refusing to let go off Rosalie and then when she got hold of Jasper, we had a big problem of prying him off of her. We decided to hit an on-campus diner and grab something to eat. Emmett was complaining about his never-full stomach. Usually, Rosalie would have complained about Emmett and his food whinings but it seemed that she had missed him too much to complain to him. This was a rare occasion for Rose and you had to take full advantage of it.

However, I noticed that she avoided eye contact with me. Like she was…hiding something? What could she possibly have to hide from me? Whatever it was, Jasper was bound to know and Jasper has never been able to keep a secret from me. We've been best friends since nursery. Every time I had tried to engage Rose into a conversation, she avoided my eyes and gave me short answers. The fuck?

"Come on." Esme said, reaching for her coat and standing up. "I want to show you where my first class is going to be!"

--

After my mother had showed us her first class, she was grinning like a Cheshire cat, she was so excited. We all had to depart, as she had to actually start her class. We decided to head back to the house and begin to unpack, meaning Emmett and me were to move all the beds and shit into the house. Whilst, Alice was already preparing to paint her room and Rose ended up leaving to head to one of her classes. Once, I had moved all the beds into their chosen rooms and set up a bookcase, I decided to head up to my room. I unpacked my docking station, plugged my Ipod in at a select volume and lay across my bed. I had exactly one hour before we were all to go and meet my mother and congratulate her on her first class. Despite being furious at the prospect of moving, I was thrilled for my mother. I knew how hard she worked to be a teacher and how long she had wanted it.

A few minutes later, Alice came pushing her way into my room. I sat up, now annoyed and semi-glared at her.

"What, Alice?" She put her hands on her hips and stared at me.

"Why are you so annoyed Eddie?" I hated that name. It took all I had to not punch Jasper when he referred to me with _that_ name. I shrugged my shoulders, wasn't it plain obvious as to why I was annoyed? She was invading my privacy and quiet time. "I mean, its not like your doing anything important." Bitch. She gestured to my Ipod and then to me on my bed. I glared at her and stroked my forehead.

"Is there a reason as to why you are in my room, Alice." I tried to be as diplomatic as I could muster at that particular moment.

"I need you to come finish painting my room for me!" She grinned. What?

"No, do it yourself."

"Come on, Edward! Jasper texted me and wants to meet up before we go see mom and I haven't seen him for weeks! Please. Pleeeeeeeease!" She stuck out her bottom lip. Ah, shit. Not the eyes. Anything but the puppy dog eyes…

"Fine." I muttered, getting of my bed and almost storming to her room, I heard her call out to me, the grinning in her voice. Making me want to puke. Stupid little sister who I love. Way too much.

--

Our conversations came to a halt as Rose entered the room along with a girl I had never seen before. And yet, apart of me told myself that I did know her. At least there was something about her. About her eyes, I didn't get to see much of her eyes as she kept her eyes on the floor for most of the time. Rose was with her although I didn't think that Emmett had quite noticed yet.

"Hi, can I help you?" My mother asked the young girl. I could barely make out what she was saying and it appeared my mother couldn't either as she repeatedly asked her the same question. Emmett finally noticed Rose and she squealed and ran towards him, they basically began sucking each other's faces off. I was so glad I didn't need to put up with that shit from Alice and Jasper. They were the more 'romantic sicky' type couple which, to be honest I kind of followed that too.

"I'm sorry but I'm going to need your name." The young girl turned back around, a shocked expression now clouded her face. Who was she? Where had I seen her before? She muttered her name quietly, just like before. The whole family was now looking at her, well except Rose and Emmett who were…well too busy trying to fuck each other with their eyes. I turned back to the girl who I thought I recognized.

"My name is…Bella Swan."

I felt my heart freeze over and my body enter a paralysed state of some sort. Bella. My Bella. How had I not recognized those eyes? Her small frame. Now smaller then ever. She was still beautiful. If not more, which I wasn't even sure was possible. Bella. She had returned to me. Or I had returned to her…I wasn't sure how this worked. I had so many questions roaming around in my head.

_Why was she here? _

_Why did she leave me? _

_Who did she love instead of me? _

_How could I win her back? _

I had no idea how I was going to ask her these questions, but I was going to get answers.

**Okay, so i forgot to pre-warn people that this is my first 'First POV' story as i usually write in third person. I'm still not sure if I'm doing any good at certain peoples POV so if its terrible, let me know :P lol**

**Reviews are very welcomed :]**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah, i know i took ages! I'm sorry. I even had one person asking if i wasnt continuing this anymore :/ So again sorry. I've had revision and what nots surrounding my life. And then when i had the chance to write. This fucking chapter wouldnt come to me. : **

**I got artwork for this story xD. Its so amazing i love it! Its on my profile so please check it out! It was made by Kfoster2519. **

**I wanted to update as i am going on holiday in a couple of days. :] **

**Thank you all so much for your reviews! They make me smile so much xD lol**

**Enjoy:]**

**Chapter 3**

BPOV.

I ran out the door, slamming it behind me with full effect. Usually I would have stopped my movements and rushed back into the room, apologising on all end. But I couldn't do that now. I could not go back in there. They were all there. The whole family. The people who were like a second family to me, all together, staring, staring at me.

Edward looked so shocked to see me. Probably, because he hoped he wouldn't have to see me after that shitty letter he sent. Even now I still couldn't believe he sent it to me, it was so unlike him. The letter was so uncharacteristic of Edward. I thought we were happy and in love. Apparently not. I hated him for making me believe everything was alright between us. For leading me on. What kind of sick twisted person did that? It was like he left me broken and didn't even care. Well technically I left him, but only because he asked me too! And he broke my heart. Ass.

I slammed my dorm room shut, and stormed over to my bed. I wasn't angry, maybe I was. I was upset and furious and I didn't know what else. There were too many different emotions running through my head. I couldn't decide whether to be mad at Rosalie or not. She had lied to me about the Cullen's being here but then I'm sure she didn't know about the little ambush that the Cullen's had no idea about.

I heard the front door slowly open and being clicked into place again. I sat up and listened for voices, intently. Rose pretty much creeped into the dorm on a daily basis, so she gotten quite good at being quiet – and hiding if anyone was with her.

I knew what Rose was like, I could usually tell her actions. She would either come into my room, alone, comfort me, stick on a movie and strike out the ice cream or she would lure me out of my bed, make me think its just us and then BAM! The Cullen's are standing right there. I heard a timid knock on my door. I huffed.

Okay, so if she was on her own, I'd invite her to sit on my bed and look like I am feeling sorry for myself – which I pretty much am. However, if she's not alone then…I'll chuck my pillow at her and slam the door in front of whoever was there.

Who says quiet girls can't be bitches?

"What?" I said, adding an annoyed tone to it just in case any unwanted visitors were out there with her. Rose entered the room, her hair covering her face and her hands by her side. She was alone. She stood against my bedroom door, her eyes gazing across my room. Because it was so fascinating…

I looked at her, raising my eyebrows and waiting to see what she had to say. She avoided my eye gaze and began making some weird noise with her lips. I rolled my eyes. "What do you want Rose." I didn't mean for it to be cold but it was apparent it came out that way.

"Oh I erm…just wanted to y'know see how you were and all." I smiled, I loved my friend. She was annoying, self-centred, and bitchy. But she was my best friend.

"I'm fine Rose. I think just seeing them all there together, kind of freaked me out a little bit. You know?" She nodded in understanding. She sighed.

"This is all pretty messed up isn't it?" She mused and I nodded. "Come on, lets head to the kitchen. I grabbed a box of chocolates and some Ben and Jerry's. I figured you could use a little pick me up." She grinned. My best friend…

--

"This is so good!" I moaned as I took another scoop of ice cream and savoured it in my mouth. Rose giggled and she picked up her fifth chocolate and ate it.

"Mmm…hmmm..." She said in agreement. Once she had consumed another chocolate she slowly picked up her drink, took a sip and then looked at me. I stopped, the spoon still hanging from my mouth and looked at her. There were a few moments of silence until I removed the spoon from my mouth as I knew I looked quite the moron.

"So, I think we need to talk about the 'Cullen' situation." She used quotation marks on Cullen and I couldn't help but snort as I always do when she did that. She looked such a fool.

"Okay…what about it?" It was quite obvious talking about the Cullen's was the last thing I wanted to do. Yay! Lets talk about Edward and how he broke my heart and then lets discuss his reaction to me and possibly future reactions like shoving an onion in my face or something. – Hey, it could happen!

She rolled her eyes at me, knowing what I was thinking. She knew me so well. She shoved another chocolate in her mouth and sighed.

"I mean what are we going to do about this situation? I am definitely going to want to see them, things with Emmett are probably going to get quite heated up." She played with her eyebrows, moving them up and down and I laughed for what seemed the first time that day. "And…" She continued. "I know how much you miss Alice." I went to open my mouth but she stuck out her finger in my face in a bossy manner, as if to shut me up. "…And don't even bother denying it." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I wasn't going to." It was true I did miss Alice, a lot. But seeing Alice would mean seeing Edward and I wasn't sure if I could deal with that at this apparent time.

"Sure you weren't. I just think that maybe this would be the perfect opportunity to see what exactly went wrong with you and Edward. You know, sort things out." What…the…fuck? If I weren't so mesmerised by the ice cream sitting in front of me, I would have knocked her into next week.

"What, went wrong?" I said slowly, emphasising each word. "Your seriously saying that to me?" She shivered.

"Now, Bella…" She began, placing her hands in front of her hands as if guarding herself. "Just, calm down for a second…"

"Calm down? 'Lets sort it all out'? Shall we? Me, Edward. Sitting and having a coffee, all hunkey dorey? Yeah sounds fantastic, doesn't it? So fantastically STUPID!!!" I yelled. Okay, so maybe I was over-reacting, but how dare she expect me to 'sort' things out. She knew how much I went through after I read that letter. The amount of tears I shed. No way, were things going to get sorted out. I planned on avoiding him for the rest of my life. And it was working out well, until he and his family decided to show up. Rosalie had obviously realised she had touched a soft spot on me.

"Alright, I'm sorry Bella. I just, I love you and I love the Cullen's. And you did once too. I know for a fact they still care about you. Why punish them for something their idiot son did?" She did have a point. I suppose I could speak to Alice. I huffed and shrugged my shoulders.

"Alright. Fine. I will talk to Alice, and maybe the Cullens." I began, I made sure I kept the stern tone in my voice though, as I knew what Rose was like and changing my mind. "But only, when I am ready! Got that?" She nodded, slowly.

"Okay. By the way, how long roughly are you waiting? Because I think me and Alice are going on a HUGE shopping trip and –"

"Rose."

"Yeah, got it." She went all silent on that and a smirk grew on my face. We decided to put the ice cream and chocolates away as we had had far more then enough. Well, I literally had to yank the chocolates out of her hand. She was a secret chocoholic, not even Emmett knew. We spent the next hour talking about people on campus, our next assignment and when it was due in – cause we're fascinating like that. I decided to clean up around the room a bit as we were still expecting a new roommate. Whoever it was I felt sorry for, they had no idea what they were getting into. Sharing a place with Rosalie. She was a nightmare.

Rosalie was just about to open her mouth to talk about something, most likely fashion or perhaps how far her and Emmett have gone within the hour of seeing each other. Trust me, it was not pretty stuff!

The door knocked and Rose and me froze, looking at each other, mouths agape. Shit. What if it was our roommate? Despite my mild cleanings, the place was still a mess. If this roommate was a snob or something, she could tell our dorm director. Then we were in the shit. Another knock came and just as Rose was about the head over to open it, the door swung open. Rose halted.

"Emmett!" She yelled, so loud I had to cover my ears. "I didn't know you were coming to see me!" She kissed him, what seemed quite forceful, on the lips. He was standing in the front room, as Rose and me liked to call it as there wasn't really a hallway.

"Actually, I'm not here to see you." Rose scowled and Emmett quickly changed his statement. "I mean, I'm glad you're here, I just didn't realise you were in this room." He shifted his gaze to me. "Er…hi Bella." I nodded my hellos. I always was quiet around the Cullen's anyway.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked confused and I had to admit I was too.

"Well, I came to drop Alice off…to see her new room." You're shitting me, right? Come on Emmett. I know what a jokester you are! My mouth opened so wide, it hit the floor.

"Wait, you mean Alice is our new roomie?" Emmett nodded and Rose – guess what? – Attacked him…with her mouth. Not a second later, Alice came bouncing through the door, pushing a suitcase; she looked at Rose and Emmett and pulled a face. She then looked at me and smiled.

"Bella!" She half-sighed. I couldn't help but smile. She was a cute little pixie and I had missed her. I found myself walking towards her with my arms stretched out. Well, this is something new. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly, putting my head in the crook of her neck. God, I had missed her so much, words couldn't describe. "Its so good to see you again, Bells." I wiped away the tear that was travelling down my cheek. I grinned and faced her.

"You to, Ali." She giggled.

"Its so good to hear you call me that again." I smiled; I was the only one who had called her that after all.

--

Once we had loaded all off Alice's belongings and boxes into her room - and there was a lot. The scary part was that she had left half the stuff at Carlisle and Esme's house for the weekend. We decided to head out for a coffee. This meant chat about the past in Alice world. I had to admit, I was a little worried when I saw Alice and Emmett. If Emmett was helping unloading Alice's belongings then was Edward too? He wasn't. Thankfully. I had seen enough of him for the day.

"I'll have a cappuccino, thanks." I said, handing over the money. I took my drink and followed Alice, who was already sitting down.

We talked about basics first. What we were up too, what we had been up too for the last couple of years. How our families were and so on and on and on. It took her almost forty minutes to ask me the question she had no doubt been waiting all day to ask me. She pursed her lips.

"So, Bella…" I looked up, smiling – kind of. "Why did you do it?" She said simple enough but I couldn't help but be confused at the same time.

"Why did I do what?" She sighed, annoyed.

"Leave. Why did you leave? You didn't have too, Edward, he was a wreck and –" I held my hand up.

"He was a wreck, really? _Aww_, what a shame." Yeah, I was being a bitch. But he deserved it. Alice sat there, looking…well…shocked.

"I can't believe you, Bella…" Her mouth was wide and the shock was all over her face.

"What?!" I snapped. What gave her the right to storm into my dorm and judge me?

"How can you be so cold towards Edward?" I almost laughed, the question was that ridiculous. I leaned forward, my bitchiness getting into mode fully.

"How can **I** be so cold?"

"Yes. _Bella_. How?" Her usual cheery voice was now taking an acid tone on me. That's okay. Two could play at that game. I bit my lip.

"Well, now that you mention it…_Ali._ When a guy breaks your heart, kind of turns you it a bit of a bitch."

"A guy breaks your heart? And erm…how did Edward break your heart?" Was she freaking serious?

"Excuse me?" I was seriously getting fucked of right now.

"I mean if anything Bella. **You** broke Edward's heart." I stood up, aware of all the people looking at me.

"You don't what the fuck your even talking about Alice!" And with that I walked away, heading for my dorm. Unfortunately, '_Miss I Am So Fucked Up I Don't Even Know What I Am Chatting About'_ decided to follow me.

"I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about?" She yelled, walking behind me and trying to keep up.

"Yes, Alice you don't." I said, simply no longer wanting to talk to her. By this time I had reached my dorm and was storming down the hallway.

"I think I do, Bella." She said my name, icily. "You're the one who left my brother a shitty letter saying you were in love with someone else! Now if that's not heartbreak then I don't know what is!" What? I turned around to face her. My anger slowly fading away as I tried to gather what she was talking about.

"What letter? Edward wrote a letter to me." She laughed in my face.

"Oh please Bella. I think someone's made up a little story to stop the guilt forming in them!" She shrieked in my face, I clenched my fist, slammed to door open and stormed into my room. Within minutes I was storming back out, clutching my letter in my hand. I had taken it out of my pocket after the whole reunion thing. I threw it at Alice. How dare she say I made it up?

"Oh and what's this?" _Snotty bitch…_

"**This**, is what made me cry every night for months." She unfolded the piece of paper and I watched as her eyes scanned the paper. Her hand went to her mouth, as her eyes were clearly full of shock. She slowly placed the letter on the side and looked at me.

"Oh shit, Bella. I…I'm so sorry…"

**Yeah. This chapter was shit wasnt it? I'm so sorry i kept you waiting and all you got was this :/ Also i know i said i wouldnt change POVS often but its crucial for my story to have Edwards next chapter sorry. :] **

**Review? Please :] **


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay! I am very happy i got this out much faster then my last one. It would have been written sooner but i got ill back from my holiday:[ **

**Besides i wrote this all in one day, which is the first time its happened with this story:D Thank you for all your kind reviews, they make me smile. And i am sorry that i make you guys wait for the chapters. **

**Oh yeah, i know i said it was Edwards pov but _Bonham Carter_ changed my mind and i have Alice's instead. I've given up apologising for my povness, you guys dont seem to complain so i figured its not a problem as long as the story continues! lol Anyways, Enjoy! :] **

**Chapter 4**

APOV

I stared in shock as I placed the letter on the side by the door. I couldn't even look at Bella right now. How could I have been so deceived? I believe Edward, when all this time…he had been lying. He had told me Bella had written him this awful letter, breaking his heart into a million pieces when…it was him. I felt like a fool. I could have got in touch with Bella, I was sure. But I didn't, purely for the protection of my brother. My _asshole_ brother who is a lying dickhead. I finally got the courage to look at Bella, afraid of the glares she would be giving me. After all she was my best friend, and I just deserted her. What kind of friend did that?

"Bella…I…I didn't know…I'm so sorry-"

"Save it." She cut me off, not bothering to look at me and stormed into her dorm slamming the door behind her. I didn't blame her for treating me like this. I'd let her down…and it was all because of Edward! I picked up the letter and I turned around and began stomping my way down the hall. I knew which room was Edwards because _big-mouth_ Emmett yelled it out for all the single girls to know, of course this was before our little encounter with Bella. Bet Emmett was feeling bad now.

When I came to Edwards door, I hammered so hard on the door that I thought my hand may bleed and then perhaps fall of and who knows maybe die?! It would be one way to escape the guilt I was feeling right now. And this stupid jerk off refused to answer! I knocked harder and harder and harder until I heard a voice behind me.

"Alice? What are you doing? And why are knocking so hard on my door." He looked at me bewildered, he was sure I would have been with Bella right now. "You're going to have bruises in the morning you know." He crossed his arms, smirking. How could he be smirking at a time like this?! I pointed to the door, scowling at him. It was rare for me not to smile and be cheesy and jump up and down, but I was mad. I was furious!

"You. There. Now." I growled, Edward momentarily laughed for a moment until he realised I was being serious. He held up his arms in a defence way, suddenly a shocked and confused look on his face. _Yeah, I'll give you shocked and confused you pig! _

He didn't hesitate and strolled right in, I didn't think Edward had ever seen me this angry before. Before even saying anything I hit him, I hit him so hard he yelped and then I hit him again and again. _Stupid Jerk…lying to me._ I kept on hitting and hitting until I realised that he had grabbed my arms to stop me. He was much stronger then mine. He looked so shocked, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. He let go of my hands and in a second I was hitting him again, slapping him, I was sure there were marks on his body now.

"Alice, what in God's name is going on!? And why are you hitting me." He was trying to fight me off now, trying to stop me from hitting him. He could have hit me back so much harder, I knew, but he wouldn't dare lay a hand on me, on any woman. "Alice, Stop! And just tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"Ugh! I can't believe you! You pig! You ass! Ugh, I'm ashamed to call you my brother!"

"Alice, wha-" He reached out to grab me but I smacked him away.

"Don't touch me! I don't want some shitbag liar touching me." I screamed, sure the neighbours if they were in could hear. What great first impressions we all made.

"Alice. What is going on? Why am I liar?" He reasoned, his voice calm but the hint of fear. Yeah, fear of finding out about the lies he had told us three years ago.

"All this time you've been lying to me! To us, to all of us! And we believed you! We felt bad for you Edward! We really did, heck I even cried for you! And hated my best fried for **you**! And for what? So it could all be a lie?" I began slowing down and had started pacing the room. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid; the whole family had been stupid. Believing a worthless liar.

"I still don't know what you're talking about, Alice." _No of course you don't_. I screamed and got out the letter Bella had shown me. Would she be pissed about showing it to him? Would she even care? I mean, she had cried for months over this letter, would it really matter if it landed back into the hands of the man who wrote it in the first place? I hadn't realised I had tears in my eyes by now, all this time I could have had my best friend. Maybe I was being selfish, thinking of myself but I didn't care. Edward wasn't the only one who had cried when Bella left, I had too. I had lost my best friend that day. And I'd be damned if I was never going to have our friendship again! I handed him the letter, my hand shaking, awaiting his reaction. Would he laugh? Or would he say it's a forgery or something. Despite what I was thinking at this apparent time, Edward was a decent guy. I couldn't really comment on the way he treated his girlfriends as Bella was his only one really, he had a bit of a thing with Tanya just over a year ago. When it was clear she wanted to take it one step further, he broke it off. I guess, he never really got over Bella. Edward fiddled with the envelope. The writing looked like his handwriting, so why was he taking so long with it? And why was he acting like he had never seen it before.

Bella Swan

He slowly unwrapped the letter from the paper and pulled it out, opening it up to read it. Usually I would have complained and whined and probably taking over and opened it up for him, but the pace seemed fitting for this moment. Like we were on slow down or something. His eyes scanned the writing and widened every now and then. I wanted to know what he was thinking. Now, would be the perfect time to have mind reading abilities. When he was finished he put the letter back into the envelope and passed it to me without a word. He walked away and sat in the couch, his hands clasped together, his eyes closed. He was thinking, or trying to hold back tears. I wasn't sure. I stood there, aghast at what had taken place today. I felt like I had lost my voice which was shocking for me, the only time I was ever quiet was when I was asleep and even then I sometimes spoke in my sleep, so Jasper told me.

"That's it?" Ahh, it appeared I had found my voice again. "That's all you're going to say Edward?" He didn't even look at me, his eyes were still closed. How could he be so cold? After the way he had treated Bella? And now he was playing the 'damsel in distress male version' card. I walked over towards him, sitting on the small coffee table in front of him. He was breathing steadily but it was as if he was having to force himself to remember to breathe. I placed my hand over his own, rubbing it gently.

"Edward?" He opened his eyes in a second, it almost scared me. He looked at me, such sorrow in his eyes. What was going on? Why was everything so…messed up? "Edward." I said again. "Why did you write this?"

"I didn't Alice. I didn't write this letter." His voice came out in a soft whisper. I sat back, my hands dropping to my sides.

"Y-you didn't write this?" I stammered. But then how? "No. You must have. I mean…" I held up the letter. Switching my gaze from Edward to the letter to Edward again. "I don't understand." He breathed deeply.

"Neither do I." He got up and poured himself a drink of water. They hadn't really unpacked anything yet, but I'm sure if there was something in the cupboards, Edward would have poured himself something much stronger. I didn't know what to think. With Bella, when she had told me she didn't write a letter to Edward, I had assumed she was a liar straight away, I only believed her when I had saw her letter that she had received from Edward. But with Edward, the whole surreal ness of this situation, I believed him. I remembered the way he moped around for days, I had never seen my brother cry before, but when Bella left, he was heartbreaking to look at.

"Edward." My voice was soft and raspy. My throat was now hurting for all the shouting and screaming I had inflicted on Edward earlier. He looked at me, his eyes fighting back tears, I wanted to hold him. Brothers protected their sisters when they were hurt, it appeared baby sisters protected their big brothers too. "Can I read your letter?" I was scared of his reaction. Would he yell? Would he cry? Would he pretend I hadn't said anything at all? He didn't do any of these things. He didn't make a sound except for his shoes scuffling along the floor, he went to his jacket pocket which was slung on top of the couch. He got a out a crumpled piece of paper, he stared at it for a moment and I let him have this moment. He passed it to me and said his goodbye. "Wait. Where are you going?" I asked softly. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm just going for a walk." And with that he left, nothing more and closed the door. I sat where Edward had sat before, I looked at the envelope.

Edward Cullen

In scruffy handwriting. Whilst it didn't look exactly like Bella's it was close. I had come to the conclusion that if Edward had sent a letter to Bella, that he says he hadn't written and if Bella had sent a letter to Edward that she said she hadn't written. Then someone else had written them. But who? Who would want to break up Edward and Bella? Everybody loved their relationship. They 'oohed' and 'aahed', when they did their cute little couple stuff. Of course, there were the odd girls who would try and throw themselves at Edward. But Jessica Stanley didn't have enough brain cells to write a letter, let alone make it look like Edward had written it. Edwards's handwriting was unique. Eric, maybe? Eric had had a bit of an obsession with Bella, a few months before she left. He would follow her around, talk to her online, and bombard her with text messages. He even got his class schedule changed to be in all the same lessons. Bella tried to shove it off as him just being over-friendly but the truth was he was starting to scare her. Edward of course didn't like it either, some geek trying the moves on his girlfriend and all. I also thought maybe Edward was a little jealous of him too. Eric in all of Bella's classes whereas he wasn't, due to being a year older then Bella. Also, Eric was supposedly the smartest boy in our high school and whilst Edward was extremely smart compared to Eric? He had the same amount of brain cells as Jessica Stanley. I opened the envelope and read the letter that had caused my brother to go into total shut down all those years ago. Just reading the letter made me want to cry.

However, there is someone I love. Please don't hate me. I tried. Really, I tried to fight my feelings for him. I told myself everyday that the love I was feeling for him was really for you.

So this was the kind of stuff he was reading? My heart broke for him. And Bella. Knowing she hadn't written this anymore, I felt so bad for her. The family were unable to talk about Bella when Edward was around. And occasionley when Rosalie had come for dinner, we knew she was in contact with Bella, we knew Edward was dying to ask about her, wanting to know if she was alright, but he didn't dare. All this time…wasted. My brother and Bella's love was ripped apart for the selfishness of one person, I didn't know what I would do if I was in that position. I felt the tears fall, dramatically onto my cheeks. Tear after tear, I couldn't stop them; I didn't want to stop them. I felt like crying for Edward. And for Bella. I wanted Jasper. I needed Jasper to comfort and to console me.

EPOV

I had walked around the campus for a couple of hours; I just wanted to be alone. I didn't understand what was happening, what had happened those three years ago. I had cried, I know its kind of sad for a guy to do that, to even admit to that. But I had. Bella was the love of my life, I generally thought we were going to grow old together. We were going to get married and I was going to go to medical school and then we were going to have kids. It all seemed like distant memory, a sick reminder of what could have been if we hadn't received those letters.

What scared me was, seeing Bella again had stirred so many emotions that I had hidden deep when she left. I had forced myself to not feel anything for the girls that flirted with me, the girls that I had had the odd date with every now and then. I was still in love with Bella, I knew. I wasn't going to pretend, no matter how hard I had tried, how much I had told my family, I had never stopped being in love with Bella. I had to get her back, be her friend again and then maybe…?

I was kidding myself, I know. But I had to do something to stop all the rush that was beginning to form a pain in my head. I wondered if Bella even knew. About the letters. Surely, something must have happened for Bella to give the letter I supposedly sent to her and then give it to me. But did she know about the one that she had sent to me? All this analysing was hurting my head, I decided to meet Emmett and Jasper for a drink in an on campus bar.

--

I stared at the clock, 3:48 AM. I had slept for about an hour or so and now I couldn't anymore, I was tired that was for sure but I couldn't seem to keep my eyes closed. I put it down to being my first night in my bed in this dorm, but I knew it was so much deeper then that. Fuck it. I sat up and grabbed a shirt, there was no way I was going to lie here and just listen to the birds chirp or some shit like that. Nowhere on campus would be open but I had to do something. If I went through to the living room, I would wake Jasper and Emmett, which also meant waking Alice and/or Rosalie. I wasn't too sure about the deal with Emmett and Rosalie. Casual sex, I had it down too.

I grabbed my trainers and walked out the door, careful at closing it. I wiped the sleep in my eyes, although there wasn't much considering I had hardly slept. It was dark outside, except for the odd lamppost that was shining. The campus was a big place; I had plenty of places to walk when I was feeling down. When Bella first left, all I did was walk and then when I was tired of walking I would go to the meadow, where Bella and me would spend our time together.

I was lost in thought when I heard footsteps, at first I thought they were coming behind me but when I looked there was no one. I turned back around and saw a young girl, maybe a year younger then me running and occasionally tripping over. She was beautiful and reminded me off…

Bella?! I had to do something to stop her, I had to talk to her! I knew calling her would make no use, she would run away or at least run away Bella style. I casually crossed the road and stopped in front of her. She took her headphones out but she hadn't looked at me yet.

"Bella." I said softly and she froze. She looked at me, her eyes widened. She didn't say anything, she didn't have too. I knew exactly what she was going to do. She walked past me but I grabbed her arm, not hard but enough to enforce her to stay. "Please, I have to talk to you."

"You didn't need to talk to me three years ago. You wrote a letter, remember." So she didn't know, I looked away, a few split seconds the moon had my attention and then I looked back at her. The girl I had lost such a long time ago.

"I didn't write a letter Bella." She was about to protest and I was thankful that I had gotten the letter back from Alice. "I'm telling the truth. This is the letter you sent me. I swear." I pleaded, she took it, careful not to touch my hands or come into contact with my skin. I was thankful, I didn't know if I would survive having her skin against mine after all this time.

"I..I erm…I didn't write this." She looked at me, confusion and despair and years of unfallen tears stored away into her eyes. My lips curled slightly.

"I know." After a few moments of silence, I added. "Look, Bella I don't know what's going on and I don't know who wrote the letters but maybe? Me and you…we could be friends or...?"

"I'm sorry, Edward. I have to go." She said suddenly and ripped her hand away from me, I was in too much of shock to pull her back.

It may have been short lived but I was thankful that we had finally had some time together, we had barely spoken but it was us. _Just like the old days._

**My first EB interation scene! Yays! Review please, tell me what you think;]**


	5. Chapter 5

**Reviews: **_Thank you so mcuh for all your reviews. I can't believe i am over 50!!! And i've only got 4 chapters^^ Squee. Lol. I kow that doesnt seem a lot but thank you so much! I know i dont thank you guys personally, only if its a question really. But again thank you:] _

**Updates: **_I know this took like forever, but please bare with me. I have homework and i've had a huge essay to write which is now finished xD But school is out in two weeks and then i have 7 weeks off so *fingers crossed* rofl. _

_Also if you guys want to know how i'm updating and shiz, i try to update my profile so you guys will know whether i have started my next chapter and how much i have done. This is my longest chapter yet, I think. Lol But anyways thanks again for reading :] _

_Enjoy;]_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

BPOV.

I sat for a moment and thought. _The letters? What the…_Ugh, the whole thing was fucked up. Did I really believe him? I mean, was it possible that Edward was innocent? And all these years of hating him for breaking my heart were all …well, useless feelings? _You could never hate Edward, no matter how much you say you do,_ said the voice in my head that had been taunting me for years. When he had shown me 'my' letter, I was baffled. I sure as hell did not write that letter! But who would? And who the fuck would I want to run away? Eric? Yeah, okay… Dudes a nutjob. Jessica? Yeah, girl couldn't even write her own name, let alone a fucking letter. Ugh, I hated them all. Hated all the bastards who hated mine and Edwards's relationship – it wasn't many but still, I hated them for it. I actually managed to let out a laugh for what felt like the first time in days, I remembered the time Stanley threw herself at Edward. She was drunk, had powder round her nose and had pissed her pants. We were at one of Emmett's _ragers,_ and needless to say Jessica had gotten a little out of hand…

I was on my way to work; I knew people considered me a down in the dumps, sad geek because apparently reading books was _weird_ at this university. And my fellow classmates would often walk into the shop to pick up a rental and catch me reading. Most would ignore me but there was the odd one that would snarl and pull a face. It's true what they say, well for some losers anyway. High school never ends. When I pulled the door open, Jacob was already unpacking boxes. We were the only teens on campus that seemed to work in this shop.

"Hey Jake." I waved, smiling a little. I was trying to worm the smiles back into my life after the day I had yesterday. He nodded his head back and went back to stacking. I rolled my eyes, Jacob Black wasn't a man of many words and usually when he did talk, at least to me, it was too see if Rose was ready to sleep with him yet. She always said no and he was always begging. I headed towards the cash register and sat down on the uncomfortable, wooden stool. I was on cash duty today and it was boring. Not that stacking was any more fun, but the shop was pretty dead today, it was a Thursday after all. The night for binge drinking for all the students. And the night for Jacob and Mike to no doubt throw another of their glorious parties. I've never been to one but I've heard all about it. Drugs, booze and shit music. God, I wish I had the balls to go. _Erm…not_. Rose never went either. When she went to parties she liked to drink, and usually when she had had a few too many, she'll sleep with anything with a dick. Precisely why she refused to party with Jacob.

_Mr. I'll screw you and then throw you away like your trash_.

I tapped my finger on the counter top; days like these were always boring. The only good thing about working in this kind of store, besides having unlimited books around you, was you were able to choose movie of the day, stick it on and watch it ten times in a row. Especially when you're bored shitless. A blonde bombshell headed into the store an hour later after I had arrived, she picked up a number of CDs and DVD's but forgot about all of them when Jacob gave her _the_ look. She got his number and that was the end of her. A few frat boys came in just under an hour later, after one of them giving me the eye for the whole ten minutes they were there, they managed to purchase a DVD and still make it out alive. I only had an hour left of my shift, I was working a small one today, and I was already packing up. The shop was dead and I was hoping my boss would be all right if I went earlier. Fingers crossed. Just as I was set to go and ask him if I could leave, who of course walked in?

My former best friend, Alice Cullen. She looked sheepish and blushed when I made eye contact with her, my eyes going hard and glaring at her. She had clasped her hands together, she had called me a liar. Bitch.

A part of me told me that I should forgive and forget. But doing that, didn't that mean I had to forgive and forget what Edward may or may not have put me through all these years? Wouldn't it make me hypocritical for forgiving one but not the other. No, Alice didn't write you a letter…And apparently neither did Edward… My heart panged, I was so confused by all this and I just wanted it all to be sorted. I was fed up with what my life had become. A boring, university student doing her homework, rarely going out at night and stuck in BORING clothes. I was so glad for Rose coming around, I would have to reschedule what we had planned and see if I could talk her into going for a massive shopping spree, I had a lot of cash saved up from Christmas, my birthday and my wages. I'm talking major cash, it's about time I spent it. And why not on a new look?

"Hi." Her voice was quiet. Just like yesterday when she realised she was wrong. It was unusual for Alice to be quiet; I felt a pit in my stomach swirling around. Alice, quiet…it was just wrong. I nodded, not trusting my own voice to speak. I was mad, sure but that doesn't mean I want another screaming match. If anything, I wanted my best friend back again. "Can we talk Bella? I want to apologise for all those awful things I said to you yesterday." _Yeah and I would like to hear you apologise_…I inwardly shook my head sighed. Screw talking. I headed over to Alice and hugged her. She seemed shocked at first and all rigid but as soon as she grasped that I wasn't going to hit her, she relaxed and hugged me back. It was a tender moment and I was sure it would have lasted longer if Jacob hadn't of moaned. The fuck…? I pulled away hastily and looked at him, confused and disgust.

"Aw, Bella man. Why'd you have to pull away? You were just causing a stir…" He winked and looked at his crotch, his trousers were slightly tented. I groaned and chucked an empty DVD case at him.

"Get outta here, Jacob. You perv!" Half joking-half actually meaning it. Once he had left the room, I turned to look at Alice. She was grinning and back to her usual self, I could tell. She was always so bubbly. I could never understand it. Even in the mornings…

"So, what can I do to make it up to you?" The bubble-queen herself asked. I raised my eyebrow at her whilst sticking offer stickers on some DVD cases.

"You don't need too. If anything, I do. I was horrible to you Ali. And for that I'm sorry." I replied, sincerely. Meaning every word of it. She shrugged.

"We could go shopping, I can buy you something! Please let me buy you something, Bella!" I was just about to protest, yeah I wanted to go shopping but I didn't need my friends buying guilt presents. I was just about to respond when Rosalie walked through the door. She gave her icy glare to Jacob who eyed her ass when she entered the shop and turned to smile at me, I smiled back and Alice jumped up and down.

"Ali, hey. "Rose said, obviously a little shocked at seeing her here and not seeing us rolling around on the floor, pulling each others hair out. She grinned back, obviously glad that we had 'buried the hatchet between us'. "I know I'm early, but I figured its a Thursday. So, you ready to go?" I nodded and was just about to go talk to my boss to see if I was able to leave early, when I remembered I wanted to change our plans.

"Oh, actually Rose. Do you think we could do something else?" She looked at me, confused but waited for me to carry on. "Its just that…" With the arrival of Edward…I didn't say this out loud, what with Alice standing there but Rose seemed to gather what I meant. "My clothes are just so boring and ugly. I mean, I hate to think what I would be wearing if I hadn't left Forks." I stopped myself, Alice was right there. She was okay with me mentioning Forks right? "Its just…my clothes, my face even my hair…"

"You want a complete makeover?" Rose finished and I grinned.

"Oh my gosh, yes. I mean, I don't know what I want to do with my hair yet but I do want a complete new look and clothes. Bring on the new clothes!" I laughed and she giggled. Rose seemed to understand me completely.

"Okay, we'll go major shopping. On one condition." Oh no… "We buy you skirts, vest tops that actually show you have breasts and dresses! Short dresses." She raised her eyebrow as I opened my mouth to protest. Short…dresses?

"…But my legs!?" She shook her head and I knew there was no way out of this. "Fine. I got my money right here." I opened up my purse which was stuffed into my pocket, it revealed a wad of cash and I was actually excited to go shopping. And then remembered Alice, sitting there waiting patiently. I looked at Rose, who too looked at Alice. She nodded as she read my thoughts. One more person bossing me about wouldn't be too bad would it? I was wrong. Oh shit. What had I let myself in for?

"Really? You want me there!? OMG!! This is going to be so cool!" Alice said after I told her, she was jumping up and down, clapping her hands, quite excitedly. Jacob was watching the show. I glared at him.

"So…guys. What are you doing tonight?" He arched an eyebrow at Rose and she turned in disgust, I bit back a giggle. There was no way Rose would ever get with Dogboy.

"Nothing with you." Rose fought back, nastily. She really hated Jacob Black.

"Actually, Jacob we're on our way out so have fun here alone." I smirked; he really hated being in the shop on his own. He groaned and stalked away to continue unloading boxes and pricing DVDs. After I had talked to my boss, we headed out but not before Jacob called us back to invite us to another party. _Yeah, like we would be going to that._

--

"Oh this. And this. Oh and this one to. Oh my gosh Bella you got to try this one on." I was having tops and vests thrown at me like there was no tomorrow. We hadn't even got to the dresses or the skirt section yet. God help me. I had only bought a couple of tops and managed to worm a pair of jeans in there, but I was told they were to be my only pair from now on. I didn't even bother to argue; there was no point when Rose and Ai teamed up together. We decided to just look into two shops first as they were on the way to the salon and then I would get my new look before shopping. I was pretty sure I was going to be half dead if not full, by the end of today. I ended up buying four more t-shirts, that all happened to be low cut. Lucky for me, not that it was really much of a problem, but still there was a massive sale happening in all of the stores. I didn't want to spend all of my money on clothes. I wasn't Rose at the end of the day.

We headed to the hair salon afterwards, I was afraid of how much this one would cost, Rose liked things expensive and this place happened to be her favourite. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to change, I just wanted to get rid of my boring locks, I didn't want to dye my hair or even get highlights but something different would be nice. If I could do something about my skin as well, it was abnormally pale and that bugged me. By the time I got there, Rosalie and Alice had decided what they wanted me to change, I didn't know so I just let them go with it. They decided that I just keep my hair length the same and the colour, if not just a little darker and to just add some tendrils into it. Curl it, subtly. I liked that idea.

Once my hair was done, I had my eyebrows plucked, not that I needed much of because I made sure I kept up to date with that, I had my nails painted into a classic French manicure, I made sure not to have them to long as I wasn't the most stable person, I fell over a lot. Alice mentioned that I wanted to sort out some make up too and we chose the natural look. Once we were finished I had a look at their cosmetic range, I ended up buying several mascaras, eyeliners, eye shadows and lip-glosses. I also bought their own shampoo and was ready to purchase one of their curling irons, since I loved the effect it had on my hair.

When I saw the bill I almost died. I was sure if Alice hadn't been holding me up right I would have keeled over. Oh my fucking god…! £350! Thank god, I had so much more money on me then that. Just as I went to get my cash, Rose flipped out her card. I was just about to protest, when she looked at me and winked.

"Don't worry Bella. Its on my daddy." She giggled and I couldn't help but giggle too. Rose was a golden child with everything. I muttered my thank yous and pulled her into a heart-warming hug. She hugged me back and Alice decided to make it a three-way. I pulled away, grinning at them hugely, immensely pleased with my new look.

"Alright. Now lets go make me look like my own version of a Barbie!" I half yelled and we raced to the next shop.

Rose came out with several short summer dresses, and I had to say they were gorgeous, well except for the pink one. That could go straight back onto the shelf. I may be playing Bella Barbie but that didn't mean I was being pink obsessive, I still hated that colour. Most of the clothes I already purchased were green and blue, earth colours with the odd purple thrown in there. It seemed red suited me as well as Alice pulled out this gorgeous Red dress that finished just above my knees, it was thin strapped at the top and then puffed out towards the bottom. I was so in love with it, I didn't even bother checking out the price tags. In fact half way through the bombardment of my clothing obsession, I stopped checking them. You only shop like this once in a lifetime, well I did anyway. And I deserved this, I deserved a new look. I wasn't ugly, I never thought I was drop dead gorgeous but that didn't mean I had to hide under jeans and tops that hid my curves.

I picked up another pair of jeans, they were low cut and I had a sudden feeling, something that I had never thought to do at all, ever in my life. I had never turned my nose down at them or anything just never thought it for myself. I wanted a tattoo.

"Oh my gosh, guys. Come over here!" Rose and Alice were next to me in two seconds flat. They saw the jeans I was holding and chucked them out of my hands, giving my look. I chuckled. "Erm…thanks?"

"You know what we said…Bella!" Rose laughed as did Alice.

"Yeah, yeah. I just got the best idea ever!" I giggled, so excited with what I wanted to do now. They looked at me waiting. "I want to get a tattoo!" Rose gasped and Alice squealed.

"That's awesome, Bella. When do you want to get one?"

"Today!" I screamed, still laughing. I looked at Rose, she was okay with this right? "Rose?" She pulled out of her trance and smiled.

"I think that's awesome Bella. I just never thought you would want one." I shrugged, I was afraid of needles, it was true but this was something I wanted to do.

"Okay, I say lets finish up here, go into one more store – I have the perfect one. And then get Bella's tattoo!" Alice said. We nodded and my hands were suddenly engulfed with a number of short skirts and tank tops. Not to mention, Alice and Rosalie's arms were filled with high heels. Guess, I could kiss my converse goodbye.

--

"Wh-what are we doing here?!" I gasped. No way, was I going into this store. I didn't need to go in here, I was…single. Why would I need too? Rosalie looked at me and sighed.

"Bella, you wear cotton panties and plain white bras. Trust me, you need this shop."

"But I…"

"Bella." And that was all Rose needed to say as she dragged me into Victoria's Secret. I had to admit the lingerie was very beautiful, some of it kept well away from but still I was kind of bored of my underwear. It fit and was comfortable but it was…plain. I didn't need half the stuff Rose was holding up. I knew what she wore underneath her clothes and I did not feel the need to follow her in that aspect.

"Don't even think I am wearing that Rose." I stamped my foot and crossed my arms to show her there was no way getting round this. She rolled her eyes and I heard Alice giggle behind me.

"You need this kind of underwear, Bella. You're practically a virgin again. You haven't shagged anyone in three years." I blushed and heard Alice tense behind me. The awkward silence/moment from the shop had returned. I tried to laugh it off.

"Heh…yeah well sex isn't all its cracked up to be you know…" I quickly headed to a different section; I didn't want to talk about my sex life with Alice. I mean, it was her brother that took my V card. Ha, yeah sex isn't all its cracked up to be…not that I have anyone to compare Edward too but oh my gosh…the guy knew how to make me scream. Yes, I'm a screamer.

Okay, so I haven't had sex in three years, but I come close. I was literally just in my underwear with my sort of boyfriend Tyler when I got a sudden flashback of Edward and well couldn't go through with it. But we did all the foreplay and that was good. Alice made her way over to me and was silent. I smiled at her to show I wasn't fazed by the topic, although I kind of was.

"So…" She began. I chuckled, slightly.

"So." She held up a lacy blue set.

"I think you should get this one." I smiled and took it. I already had the same set in three other different colours along with some pyjamas and some _sexy_ nighties Rose had called them. There was nothing to them! And they were practically see through. I managed to buy some bunny slippers, which were just too cute to give up.

After I had finished my huge shopping spree, I managed to have a few hundred left over. Despite being total pummelled with millions of bags, not just on my arms but on Rose and Alice's too. They had actually managed to come out and not buy anything for themselves; I was the total centre of attention. I was ready to go get my tattoo now.

--

_I made my way out of class, I was so tired and glad for the end of the day. I had just finished my full week at Forks high school. I had just moved from my mother's. We were fighting a lot and my father thought it would be a good idea for me to come spend some time with him for a while. I was thirteen years old and despite Forks not being a very big place, I still felt overwhelmed by all the people here. There were some nice people, that was sure but there were some bitchy and dumb people. They didn't seem to have the time of day for me. Which was fine by me. _

_The only good think about moving to Forks was getting the chance to spend some more time with Rosalie. She had been my best friend since I was four years old, when I had made my first visit to Forks. I very rarely visited Forks but we made sure to keep in contact as much as possible, racking up my mothers phone bill usually worked. Her brother Jasper was nice to me too, I spent most of my time hanging out with them two, they made me laugh and made me feel welcome. I was aware of the young girl, Rosalie became friends with. I had heard a lot about her over the phone from Rose. Her name was Alice, and I was glad she was as nice as Rose had mentioned. We became friends almost immediately. _

_I stuffed the books in my locker that I would no longer need, as it was time to go home. I was cooking again tonight so I reminded myself to stop by the grocery store. As I walked out of the high school, I was one of the last ones as always, it began raining. I patted my head as a weak attempt to keep it dry, when I realised. My ribbon was gone! My ribbon was red and it was my mothers. It was something she wore when she was my age, I loved it. I tied it in my hair, so the little bow would be peeping out. I had lost it! I felt a tear streak down my face; my mother was going to be so angry with me. I had promised my mother that I would keep it safe and now I was going to be in so much trouble. It was like a memoir to my mother. _

_I carried on my way to the grocery store, I decided on a chicken casserole for dinner tonight as I began picking up the ingredients for the meal. My father liked his meat and his fish. I tried to alternate, I loved to cook but it seemed my dad always knew when I was planning on making salad for dinner or something healthy, he would arrange for us to eat at the diner. It always baffled me but somehow it managed to make me smile too. There was a tap on my shoulder. _

"_Excuse me." I turned around, confused. Hardly anybody knew me around here, why would someone be talking to me. The young boy standing in front of me, was beautiful. He was outstanding; I couldn't mutter any words just stare at him. I recognized him from school. He was often talking to Alice, so I presumed he was her boyfriend. He smiled and his white teeth seemed to hypnotize me for a moment or two. I nodded my head, still confused at what he was doing talking to me. He pointed to one of the ready made meals I was standing in front of. I blushed, so that was why he was talking to me. I sighed, I was such a moron sometimes. _

"_Thank you." He said as I moved out of the way for him. I expected him to leave after that but he stayed, still smiling at me, I managed a small smile back. This only seemed to widen his grin. "I'm Edward." Even his voice was mesmerising! _

"_I know. Your erm…Alice's boyfriend right?" Stupid, stupid Bella! You never let a guy know you know all about him! And his girlfriend!_

"_Yeah…erm what?" He was silent for a moment. What did I say? He burst out laughing at me and I actually jumped from the outburst of his voice. He was laughing at me. "You think Alice is my girlfriend?!" She was right…? Sure, she never mentioned him and never kissed him or even hugged him but still, she was always talking to him. "Alice is my sister!" Whaaaat? "I'm single." He added and I felt my stomach to a whirl. Single?! _

"_Oh." Was all I said. What else could I say? He was beautiful and way out of my league. _

"_Can I confess something to you?" I nodded. "I actually followed you in here. I saw you walk out of your class and your ribbon wasn't in your hair." I touched my hair again, afraid I may start crying. I loved that ribbon, it seemed silly, I know but still…it meant something to me. He held up the ribbon in his hands. He had found it! "I wanted to return this to you." I gasped and without thinking I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. It was the first time I had ever kissed a boy, I was shocked at myself but he grinned. _

"_Thank you." I breathed, taking the ribbon from him. He seemed disappointed at this. _

"_I like that ribbon too. It makes you look even more beautiful then you already are." Did he really just say that to me? I blushed but managed a smile. He seemed he was blushing too, his usual pale cheeks were now a crimson colour and the tip of his ears were pink. My smile became broader. I didn't even plan what I did next. _

"_Well, you like the ribbon so much?" It was a rhetorical question but still he nodded. I grasped his hand and held it open, placing my ribbon in his hand. "You keep it for me." I smiled and headed towards the counter. _

"_Thank you." He said quietly but I managed to hear him and turned around grinning, finding him smiling too. _

_-- _

"You who…Bella." A hand waved in front of me as Rosalie groaned. Alice nudged me.

"Bella, it was your idea to come here. What kind of tattoo do you want?" She asked. I smiled, the same grin I had five years ago when I first met Edward.

"I want a ribbon. A red one." I wondered if Edward still had my ribbon.

_How cute;] Lol. Reviews are very much welcomed! And thank you again for reading :]_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Reviews:** Okay so before i launch into my excuses, i just wanted to than you all for your amazing reviews! They bring such big smiles to my face! And even now, 6 chapters in, its still getting put onto story alert and such! So thank you. _

_**Updates:** Anyway, the reasons why this took a million years was mainly because i'm moving house, so i've been helping my mom pack up all the rooms and such, as of now i am sitting in a room with empty shelves and stacked up boxes. So yeah, i've been busy. Life should get back to normal, sometime in the next two weeks. And to top it all off, recently i found the first half of this chapter so hard to write. I have no idea why. It just would not come to me. I was 1000 and something words when i opened this today and finished on 4000 and something. So i havent done too bad today lol. _

_Still, i hope you enjoy this ;]_

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**Chapter 6**

BPOV.

We were heading back to campus now, a million bags in total. We had decided to head to a small coffee shop on the way home, we talked for hours and I decided to change. After rooting through my million of bags, Rosalie and Alice enforced a denim skirt and a vest top on me. It was summer, so I didn't quite mind. I drew the line at the heels though; I needed to practice walking in them before I even thought about wearing them in public! I headed into the ladies room to change and spruced up my hair and went over my make up a little bit more. I also decided to take the tissue that was protecting my tattoo off, so I could see it. The tattooist said it would be all right after a few hours anyway. As I peeled it off, I squinted a little, afraid it would hurt but it didn't. I turned to see it in the mirror. It was just visible as my skirt and vest top didn't meet completely. It looked beautiful. Somehow, the redness was just deep enough, the outline was dark, my tattoo was beautiful. I know Alice and Rosalie realised what I was thinking off when I got the ribbon. My tattoo was placed on my back, low down. The ribbon was tied into a small bow and the ends were flowing, delicately. It was rather small but still so magnificent.

I headed out of the restroom and received cheers and wolf whistles from Rose and Ali. This was the first time in my life I had ever worn a skirt! A tutu doesn't count; when I was seven years old my friend Victoria made me take ballet with her. I had hated ballet ever since I was old enough to know what it was, straight away I hated it but I did it for a friend.

"Wow. You look great Bells." Alice said and Rose nodded, I couldn't help but grin, though the remains of a blush was in my cheeks. I felt uncomfortable at first, I felt like so much of myself was on display and I wasn't sure if I liked it. I looked over at Rose and Ali, despite Ali being in jeans – Rose refused to wear them, she didn't even own a pair! They both looked really great and seemed unaffected by all the attention they were getting let alone how much leg Rose had on display. I found myself pulling my skirt down, every time I felt like it was getting too short. Maybe this whole _makeover_ thing was a bad idea. Maybe I was just meant for jeans and logo tops, maybe my brain just shut out dresses and skirts because they clashed with me personally. _Your being a fool Bella_, _shut up and smile_. My brain told me, so I did. I spent the next hour, walking in and out of different shops, smiling for all I was worth. This was Bella Barbie day and I was damn going to enjoy it. Right before we headed home we decided to hit a small restaurant for a spot of late lunch.

"You look gorgeous Bella. I can't believe you never thought to wear skirts and make up before." Alice gushed and I went a deep red. I rolled my eyes.

"I wore make up before Ali." Alice grinned and Rosalie stopped slurping on her drink and butted in.

"Yeah Bells, but it was never this obvious before. Even you got to admit that!" She smirks and I stuck my tongue out at her, childishly. They shook their heads and finished off their meals. Afterwards, they decided to attack me and see what my tattoo looked like. Personally, I thought it was the best tattoo to have ever been inked on skin, but then I was a tad bit bias since it was mine after all. Alice and Rosalie both agreed it was beautiful though, and it was. I just couldn't get over how perfect it had turned out to be, I wasn't expecting it to be like that at all. I'd never even considered getting a tattoo but I was so glad I did. The only thing I was waiting for now was, what would Edwards reaction be if he saw it? What would he say? Would he even get the hidden message?

--

Once we had finally arrived back at the campus, our day was almost gone, it was now meeting night as the sky darkened. Rosalie mentioned something about having a girl's night in, something about manicures and facial masks. Alice, however wanted to go out so she could show me off. I guessed it wouldn't really matter what I said, they would no doubt emotionally blackmail me into doing something they wanted anyway. And I mean that in the best way possible…

My friends were my friends after all. You can't change them no matter how much you want too. I was glad of this day. It had come when I needed it most, I thought. I need a new look, which I had been planning for, for some time now anyway and I needed to get away and have a break from all this nonsense surrounding Edward.

Typical, when Edward and me first got together there was huge drama from both our families – mainly Edwards since it was much bigger then mine. But still there was drama as everybody waited for use to get together for months. Then when we get together, nobody really cares after a month or so. The dramas died down. Fast forward three years and what do you know? Drama fucking drama. I never liked the stage.

I was just sighing blissfully to myself, please with the day, pleased with my clothes and most of please with my tattoo, when of course it came crashing down. I hadn't even noticed the three guys making their way over to us, until Alice squealed in my ear.

"Jaspie!!" Alice ran as fast as she could, which was unbelievably fast considering she was wearing heals, and threw herself into Jaspers arms. Rosalie looked at me and rolled her eyes, I got what she was saying though, and Alice was acting as if she hadn't seen Jasper for, well years…

I didn't say anything thought, I was kind of difficult when my ex-boyfriend was just a few metres away, staring at me intently. I would have stared back but I was just too confused at what was happening between us. It had been what? Two days? And already I was uncomfortable around him. Did he break my heart? Unintentionally? Because according to him, he didn't break my heart at all? My head was swimming with all these thoughts, I was trying to analyse everything and it just was giving me a headache and all the thinking and remembering was beginning to hurt me. I wasn't ready to deal with the hurt yet.

Alice was hugging Jasper tightly, her arms wrapped around his mid-section and Rosalie was basically having clothed sex with Emmett. Why did those two ever break up? They're like perfect for each other, I wondered. I shook my head, I didn't care. And my arms were starting to hurt. Seeing Edward made me forget I was carrying a ton load of bags. Once, Rosalie and Alice decided to let go of their boyfriends, or in Rosalie's case fuck partner, I was quite sure what her and Emmett were, they came and stood next to me, they were carrying half of my bags too.

Once I remembered my bags, I immediately tried to hide some of them, potentially one bag in particular… I didn't exactly want Edward to see the kind of underwear I had bought, unless he was the one seeing it, which I highly doubted giving the circumstances.

"So, you guys have been shopping." Jasper said, stating the extremely obvious. We nodded and Alice giggled, I had to hold back a groan, I wasn't in the mood for shagging/cutesie couples right now.

"A lot of shopping. Jesus, shit what the fuck have you bought now Rose?" Emmett half-yelled, his loud booming voice deafening us all. He was half-joking, half-being serious, although Rosalie still managed a scowl at him. She put her hand on her hips, obviously ticked off at his comments.

"For your information, Emmett Cullen. Alice and me haven't bought anything. This." She held up her bags and pointed to the ones Alice and me were carrying. "Is all for Bella." Emmett raised his eyebrow, as if not believing. Was it really that rare for me to go out and shop? To buy myself clothes that were actually nice? And didn't cover me up 99%?

"Really? Bella?" He looked at me, questioningly. I briefly nodded; I hated being put on the spot like this. "I'm impressed. Now you can officially hang with Rose and Ali. You can join 'I can raid the shops and leave nothing for the homeless club!'" Rose slapped him on his arm and I wasn't quick enough to bite back a smile. I let out a small giggle and I heard Edward let out a sigh. I pretended I didn't hear anything though.

"So lets see what you got then Bells." Emmett said, tugging on my bags – including the Victoria's Secret one. Erm…no. Get of my bags shithead, I thought. I was trying to tug them back but compared to Emmett, I was like peanut he could stamp on. He managed to get three of my four bags, of course one of these had to contain my most embarrassing clothes. If you can call them that. I didn't even bother to look at the floor before I began blushing. Everything from _that _bag was on show. The other two bags, a skirt and maybe a tank had fallen out but _that_ bag – everything!

"Erm…yeah…wow…" Emmett muttered and Rosalie slapped him, I didn't even bother to glare at him, I just carried on staring at the floor. Jeez, this was so embarrassing!

I didn't think it would be so bad if it was just Emmett and Jasper – but Edward! I mean, Edward has seen me naked! And he always said he loved the colour blue on me…rewind three years ago, he would have been very happy to see this amount of blue on show. Just knowing I had it would have probably driven him crazy.

I shook my head, but this was three years later! _Forget about the past, its only now that matters and Edward will __**not**__ be a part of your life! _They were harsh words but I felt like I needed them to reach out to me, to go into the depths of my skin, I needed them to burn into my brain so I didn't make the same mistake I did all those years ago. _But you could maybe still be friends…You and Edward were such good friends…. _The other more, nicer part of my brain said. I didn't know what to believe, I didn't know whose rules to follow, I blocked both of those voices out and try to focus on the scene that was taking place. You know the one where I was being humiliated to death. I stood still for a moment before I immediately reached for my brand new underwear and began scooping it up, I didn't care if it was all untidy and such, I just shoved it all into my bag, I even started walking away, my cheeks all flushed but Alice and Rose, sensing what I was about to do, pulled me back.

"Oh no you don't." Rose laughed and I was forced back. Emmett was quietly chuckling to himself whereas his brother was the exact opposite; he was blushing and staring at me. Sensing the awkwardness between us all and my show of underwear, Jasper piped up.

"So you guys going to Newton's party tonight?" Another one? Jesus whispers. Rosalie groaned.

"Usually no. But me and Ali need to show Bella off." She winked at the three young men in front of us. "Its not just her underwear that's improved you know! And we are going to get Bella into a skirt before she changes her mind and sends all her clothes back." Apparently I was invisible. She turned to me and added to her comments: "By the way. Me and Ali are ripping up your receipts, don't even try to stop us or send them back." I arched an eyebrow as if to say 'Are you challenging me' of course Rose hadn't realised that I had no intention of getting rid of my new clothes, so I just took what she said and shrugged.

"We'll see you at eight then?" Jasper asked and Alice nodded. "Edwards not coming so-"

"Actually I think I will come. I haven't been out in a while." Edward interrupted, for the first time he had moved his gaze away from me and turned to Jasper; Jasper nodded and looked at me. I briefly smiled at him. Oh yeah, I knew why he was going to Newton's party now…

--

Clothes. Skirts. Dresses. T-shirts. One Pair of Jeans. Actually they were thrown back into my draws. I turned to Alice, she gave me a look. Not allowed to wear jeans tonight then. I sighed. I knew I needed a new look, I embraced it in face but this didn't mean I wanted Alice and Rosalie dictating to what I was wearing now. It was going to be bad enough living with the both of them and them picking at what I was wearing. They used to do it all the time before. What would stop them now? Even with my new wardrobe. They were terrible together. I giggled at the memory of Alice and Rose dressing me one of the High School dances. Oh that was a catastrophe. Alice decided on me wearing a dress but Rosalie insisted dresses were to formal and flashy so she said to wear a skirt but then I refused to wear a skirt so that left my jeans and well…Rosalie decided to _accidentally_ pour milk and crack eggs on my jeans. I was furious but I let her get away with it. My jeans never smelt quite right after that…

"I'm telling you guys! Tonight is important. Bella you have to show everyone that you actually have a body." I stared at her, aghast. Yeah okay, I didn't exactly flaunt my body but that didn't mean I wore figure-hiding clothes either. Mine were usually just logo tops, which were still figure hugging. Sometimes.

"Alright Bella. I have chosen three outfits for you. You must choose one of these. No changing, no swapping. I just spent the last fifteen minutes of my entire life choosing these for you! Okay?" I sighed and nodded. Alice was so over the top sometimes. She wandered into my room where she had obviously been rooting through all my new clothes as there were bags thrown all around the room. I looked over the outfits. Christ! She's even chosen my bloody underwear too. Alice smiled brightly at me. "Beautiful aren't they?" Of course their fucking beautiful, I fucking chose the clothes. I gritted my teeth and grinned. "Now, Rose is doing the whole, shoes, make up, hair thing. She's better at that then me."

"What about you guys? Don't you need to get ready?"

"Oh, that will be easy. Already got my outfit sorted. And its not like it takes long to do my hair is it?" She laughed and I smiled. It was much better to put up with Alice when she wasn't trying to control you. As for the outfits, I hated to think it but she had actually matched and co-ordinated some gorgeous choices. Two outfits and skirts and the other a dress. I didn't feel like wearing a dress so I just went for a skirt and a simple top. Alice squealed and handed them too me and I began getting changed. She had matched the outfit with a dark blue lace set; I rolled my eyes but slipped them on anyway.

Next Rosalie shoved me into her room. Her room was like a beauty salon of its own. Her make up was placed neatly and in perfect sections on her vanity desks. _It even had fucking light bulbs around the mirror._ She was grinning and showed me to sit down on her stool. Heaven knows what she was going to do to me or how long it was even going to take.

Surprisingly, it did not take long for me to change at all. Rosalie had already done her make up whilst I was changing and Ali got ready whilst I was being attacked with an eyelash curler. My make up was simple although I looked like I had a black eye on both of them. I sighed, I wasn't used to this amount of make up but I wanted to change so I embraced it instead. My hair didn't really need much since I had had it done earlier, Rose just curled it some more and I was done. Alice hair was more spiky then usual and Rose and changed into a black dress.

We were ready to go.

--

When we arrived at Newton and Jacobs's dorm we immediately headed to their kitchen area to grab a beer. Rose usually did wine but she figured to go for beer this time otherwise she would have probably receive weird looks from the skanks of the campus. I hadn't seen Emmett, Jasper or Edward – definitely not Edward. So I thought maybe we had arrived before them, but then I heard Alice squeal from behind me and I knew I was wrong.

I had to admit I did feel a little self-conscious with what I was wearing, it wasn't so much that I had so much skin on display – I did – but I was receiving glances from a number of guys _and girls_, I wasn't used to it, it made me feel all out of sorts. I drained my beer and grabbed another one. Rose was of making out with Emmett in a dark corner and Alice had dragged Jasper to go and dance with her, although there was barely enough room to stand still, let alone move around and dance but somehow they managed. In all our years of friendship, Alice had never failed to underestimate me.

I looked at Rosalie and Emmett again, I was confused at what was happening between them at the moment. One minute they were being perfectly civilised with one another, acting the briefest of friends, the exact next minute – literally – they were all over each other. I sighed, how was it both of my best friends were still with there high school boyfriends and yet I? I had been single for the last three years – sort off. Whilst my ex, well I wasn't quite sure what he had been up too, but I was sure he had been with a few girls. I wasn't afraid to admit to myself that Edward was a good looking guy and even when we were dating there were girls all over him.

He's even more gorgeous now, then what he was back then, I sighed thinking this, It was plainly obvious my feelings had never gone away for him, I knew that deep down though. I knew that when I forced myself to bury them, they had never truly disappeared. I had hoped when I first left Forks, if I forced myself to forget him, to forget everything about Forks enough, the memories would have been wiped from my brain completely. I was wrong.

"Bella? Is that you?" I looked up to see Jacob Black. He wasn't going to try it on with Rose through me was he? Again? I nodded and he raised his eyebrow, smirking. "Looking good." He reached out and began stroking my arm. I shivered and not in a good way. "Maybe I've been chatting up the wrong girl eh Bella?"

"Sorry?" I asked confused. _Don't chat me up, pig. You've been doing me a favour all this time._ Obviously, dressing up and changing my appearance did have its downfall. Attracting people like Jacob. Ugh.

"You know, all this time going after Rosalie. When you are so much hotter and would no doubt put out more then what she does. You wouldn't leave me standing would you? You would shag me in a minute, you look you haven't done it for a while." He grinned and winked, my eyes almost popped out of my head. That cheeky bastard. I swear I was going to slug him on.

"Yeah Jacob… not going to happen." He stopped smiling for a second, his eyes now quizzical. He stepped back, his hand still moving up and down my arm, even after I tried to push it off.

"Whys that Bella? You and me got something special going on, so why not?" I opened my mouth to speak.

"Probably, because Bella doesn't waste her time on charming shits like you." Edward came up behind me, his voice cold laced with acid, he took Jacobs hand and threw it of my arm.

"Dude. Who the fuck are you?" Jacob asked. Hmm… What was Edward exactly? This is where I expected Edward to kind of falter but then I reaized, I forgot who Edward was, He would never back down, not until he won. He was persistent. I remember getting extrememly hacked off by it when we were together over the little of things, now I was so thankful for it. Despite it rescuing me of some sorts from pervy ass Jacob, his words still made me shiver and my heart jump.

"I'm her fucking boyfriend. That's who." He replied just as cold and just as acidly has he had done before.

"Oh shit, sorry man. She's all yours." I had never seen Jacob be so hesitant and give up a girl before. I was glad of it. Maybe he would back off on Rose now too? Who was I kidding? Jacob was a ladies man. Go through as many women as you can and throw them aside, that was Jacobs's motto.

"Yeah. So I suggest you piss of and leave us alone." He did exactly that, stalking away and leaving us in peace. Well, peace for a house party anyway. I turned to Edward, he was looking at me. The most intense look in his eye. I shrugged, looking away from his eyes every now and again, unable to stop looking at them for a length of time.

"Thanks. Jacob he's…I work with him."

"Don't worry about it." Okay, so he was being cold with me too?

"Right." I dumped my beer, grabbed a handful of pretzels and headed for home. It wasn't long before I heard footsteps behind me.

"Bella wait." He sighed and I stopped. He caught up with me, I looked at him expectantly. I was nervous. What did he want? Lets talk about the past? So we can both cry and share tissues? Bella Swan did not cry. Or at least not in front of Edward anyway. Not anymore. "Do you want to go somewhere."

"Sure."

--

We found an old park, just a few minutes of campus. I immediately went for the swing. I loved swings, always had done. I looked to the sky, there weren't many stars out but the ones that were, were sparkling beautifully.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was soft; it took me back to the old days. When we were together, happy and in love. I shrugged and looked at the stars. He chuckled. "You always did love the stars." I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back.

It felt weird being like this with him, before – three years ago – there was never a hint of awkwardness between us. But now…now it was filled with it. He came up behind me and pushed the swing. I yelped out in surprise but still, I giggled happily and lifted my feet up, letting them glide with the wind that collided with them. I could still hear him laughing quietly behind me. We were at ease. For the first time since I had seen him. I briefly remembered this morning. How discomfited it was and now. Now it seemed like we didn't have a care in the world.

When he stopped pushing and I got of the swing, I turned to look at him.

"I think I should go now. I'm tired." He nodded and held out his hand. I looked at him, confusion written everywhere.

"I'm hardly going to let you walk home by yourself am I?" I shrugged, who knows? He took my hand and we began walking. Just as I turned to go into my dorm, he stopped me and called out my name. I turned back around, the key dangling in my hand.

"Bella. I like your tattoo." I had forgotten completely. I looked at it. Then at Edward. He was smiling but I saw the pattern of red, which was laced into his cheeks as well. He got it, he understood. He knew it was for him.

"Yeah. I do too."

**Reviews are very welcomes. And thoughts? What do you think of the whole BellaEdward moment? Am i rushing it? Would really like to hear some of your thoughts! ^^**


	7. Chapter 7

**Reviews: **_All of your reviews were so awesome! I'm so happy that you like this so far;p So thank you for reviewing! :D_

**Updates:** _Very slow, i know. I guess i am just a slow updater, which i have actually found out in the past ;/ I personally do not like this chapter, but i guess i just wanted to show some Bella and the Cullens moments. So yeah hope you like it =]_

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**Chapter 7**

BPOV.

It had been a week since I officially hated Jacob. A week since I had that moment with Edward. I sighed; I didn't know what I was going to do about Edward. I decided to believe him about the whole letter thing. He knew I did not write his letter and somehow, I didn't know how, there was just something telling me, I knew he didn't write the letter that was for me. Luckily for me, Alice hadn't mentioned the whole letter debacle, I probably would have cried or slapped her. One or other, I hadn't decided yet.

I'd only seen Edward once in the last week, it was awkward yet not at the same time. I was just queuing up for my morning coffee when I literally almost walked into him. He smiled, I smiled, and then it went silent. He tried to spike up a conversation and I was glad for it, despite my mind telling me to get away from him as soon as possible, I wanted to stay with him, talk to him. Even before we were together, we would have our own conversations that seemed to last forever, my father even got me my own private line since we would stay up till four in the morning just talking. He tried to stop it, tried grounding me but nothing stopped us from talking, it didn't change when we admitted our feelings for each other either. I wondered what my father would say about me seeing Edward again, did he already know? He was pretty good friends with Carlisle but I hadn't told him about the letter from _Edward_, I kind of just ran away to my mom, who in turn did not know about it either. The whole letter thing I mean. I hadn't spoke to my mom in a couple of days. We were never really close; we could go weeks before talking to each other, though I knew if I ever needed anything I could go to her. I was just kind of in the way for her, hence why I went to live with my dad.

I had found myself still confiding in Rosalie a lot more then Alice though, I didn't find it strange, I had known Rosalie longer then Alice anyway but that didn't mean I kept secrets from Alice. I always told her, just Rose first most of the time.

I stepped into the shower, re-evaluating what I had planned for the day, I had a morning class with Rosalie and then Alice wanted to meet up and go study, I wasn't sure about Rosalie, whether she was planning to meet with Emmett or join us or some shit, I don't know, I still don't get what the fuck is going on between the two. I had a day off today so that meant not having to deal with Jacob and his pervy antics all day. Fucking jackass, I wanted to rip his balls to shreds. How dare he insinuate that I had not sex life? Well, I didn't but still, that's just fucking rude. Jeez, and now Edward probably knew that I hadn't had any action so he's all like "Yeah baby, ex can't get over me, ha, ha, ha, its cause I am such a good lay" Or some shit like that. I hate life.

I dressed into a pair of jeans and a simple vest top, it was only class – I was hardly going to dress up for that. Although, I did put on a pair of heels because I need to get used to wearing them and there was no way Rose was going to let me out just wearing my sneakers. Cowbag.

I realized I was five minutes late already, damn shit and there was no way I could run in fucking heels. Maybe, Esme would go easy on me? Being her son's ex and all, but then maybe she didn't know about the letters and thought I did actually break Edwards heart so therefore she was going to secretly torture me and make me pick of hard chewing gum of the tables or something or maybe I am just being pathetic and need to shut my ever-lasting rambling mind down and focus on my lesson? Just maybe…

I threw open the door, forgetting how loud it could be and completely interrupted the lesson. Everybody turned to look at me, eyes narrowing, shit. I looked at Esme, she was half-frowning and half-smiling. Well, that was better then a complete frown, right?

I let out a little grin and found Rose, heading over towards her, good, she'd saved me a seat otherwise I would have beat the shit out of her. Or at least attempted. She'd had another morning class before me; otherwise we would have come together. She smiled a little and moved her crap of my seat.

"About time, where the fuck were you?" She said in hush whispers, I shrugged, all I did was have a fucking shower – can a girl not be clean? She shook her head. "Whatever, I decided not to join you for your little study geekfest." I rolled my eyes and whispered back to her.

"Its not a geekfest Rose, its called 'hey, I want to pass Uni.'"

"Like it matters, anyway I'm meeting up with Emmett instead." Now was my chance to ask what was up with them. Were they together? Forming a relationship again? Or were they just fuck buddies?

"Yeah, what the fucks up with you two anyway? You guys are so fucking weird." She shrugged.

"I don't know, right now we're just…having fun, I don't know about the future."

"Well, would you ever get back together with him?" I asked, interested. To me, Rosalie and Emmett were like the sex-obsessed version of Jasper and Alice. And Jasper and Alice are like the most fucking perfect couple you will ever witness. Drives me insane! They get love, they get sex and I get fucking letters. That's just fucked up.

Within a second, Rosalie had nodded head and muttered a 'definitely, wouldn't hesitate'. I knew she still had feelings for Emmett. They had tried the long-distance thing but it got too much for them, they were just horny all the freaking time. No, I'm just kidding but they missed each other and what with Emmett not planning to move to the Uni or anything, they didn't think it would last. But fate played a role and voila, here they are once again.

I turned away and began listening to the whole reason why I came to class in the first place, I had chosen to study English because that meant reading and I wanted to go into publishing for my future career. I wanted to be one of those editors that read books and decided whether it's good enough to be published or some shit. But in order to do that, that meant I needed to study a whole bunch of historical and modern English. I had no idea why Rose took this class though, It didn't exactly fit among her mechanical and workshop regime. One look at Rose and you wouldn't think she would want to work with cars and electrical stuff. Maybe, that's why her and Emmett got on so well, they both had a fascination with cars otherwise Rose can't really talk much unless its bitchy comments about everybody else and poor Emmett is not exactly the smartest cookie in the jar. I realised that I had barely paid any attention to Esme's class and before I knew it she was dismissing us all and Rosalie was tapping me on my shoulder to grab my attention.

"Jesus Christ Bella, stop with all this fucking spacing out, its driving me insane." I rolled my eyes.

"You drive me insane." I muttered, knowing she heard me. She slapped me on my arm, It stung but I was used to this. Rosalie was like my bully best friend, no one was allowed to hurt me, except her of course. We began laughing and giggling and trying to beat the shit out of teacher, or at least she was, I was sort of failing to be honest, I almost didn't hear Esme's calm and peaceful voice call out to me.

"Bella, may I have a word?" I turned around, what had I done now? I never usually got into trouble with my professors but it was known to happen every now and then. I couldn't ever imagine Esme telling me off and punishing me though but then I couldn't imagine her doing that to anybody. I nodded meekly and turned to look at Rose. Her lips were shut tightly and her eyes were darting around the room, oh yeah, she knew what this was about.

"I'll leave you guys to it." And with that she left as quickly as she could in her heels. I stood where I was since Esme was already heading towards me. I looked at her, a moment of silence, she was smiling at me, a smile I had missed so much over the years. Even when I was living with Charlie, my mother had never really done much with me, it was obvious I was a burden to her when I moved back to live with her, Esme helped me and comforted me like mothers were supposed too. Apart from leaving Rosalie and Edward too, it broke my heart having to leave Esme, my mother figure, behind as well.

"Sure, what's up Esme?" I put on my best cheery, squeaky voice although I was sure Esme knew it was fake. It was obvious; the only time I had ever really squealed was when I was with Edward. But I didn't want to think about that, not with his mother present anyway. She smiled her soft smile again. Why did she have to be so nice to me? Surely, her and Carlisle hated me for what I had supposedly done to their son. Alice and Emmett knew, I presume Esme and Carlisle know too.

"Bella, its so good to see you again. It's been too long." And before I could even react to what she said, she had pulled me into a hug. Yeah, a hug. I mean, Esme doesn't do bitchy, at all! But still, I didn't think she was going to be that nice. Man, I love this woman.

"Yeah, its erm…nice to see you again to Esme." I smiled, genuinely by the way. She grinned.

"How are you finding my class, Bella? I had no idea you were a student at this university." I pulled a face; class was good, I guess, as far as classes go anyway.

"Yeah, its good. I mean, you're a great teacher, Esme." Her heart-warming smile came across her face again. I loved that smile, Edward had the same one. I shook my head. No, thinking about Edward. Christ, that shit was in enough mess, too much mess then I cared to deal with.

"That's great, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I always knew you would soar in this class. You were always so great in English. The one class you could beat Edward in completely, right?"

"Heh…yeah…" Awkwardness came across us at the mention of her son. Of course it would, she didn't really think we'd gush about him right? She definitely had no clue about the letters. How did I know? For one, she was talking to me and in a nice way. And second, she was talking to me. About Edward. She had no flaming clue about the letters and I couldn't decide whether it was a good thing.

"Well, I have to ask because your presence would be an honour, would you like to join our household and have dinner with us tonight?" The fuck…wasn't expecting that.

"Erm…what?" I asked, she needed to repeat herself, just so I knew I understood her clear enough and that I was hallucinating what she was saying. A meal, with her family? And Edward. . She giggled, lightly. You could barely make out an Esme giggle, it was that quiet.

"A meal. With me and Carlisle and the rest of the family."

"Family. Family like…Edward?" She giggled again.

"Yes Bella. All of us. It will be the first meal since we've been here where Alice and Rosalie are present too, it would be wrong for you not to be there."

"Bella, please. We would love to have you there. Please come." Oh god, she was literally begging in her own Esme way. How could I say no to her? My ex's mom, my own mother figure. The woman I went too when I had my own problems. The woman who I would ask for things I should really be asking my own parents and now she was asking me for something in return. But I could still say no, right? No. No. No. It's not that hard. Not as hard as people make it out to be. 'Esme, I'm sorry no'.

"Esme, I'm sorry but." Her face dropped, she knew what I was going to say. Her usual content eyes were now filled with regret and sorrow. Oh jeez. "I would love to come to dinner." I forced a grin. How the hell was I supposed to survive dinner with the Cullens?!

"Oh Bella, thank you so much." She pulled me into another hug, holding me tightly; I could feel her smile against my neck. "I know how hard this is for you. Thank you so much." I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes. This whole letter thing was such a mess. I hated it. And I wanted to resolve it.

--

I flipped through my closet, continuously. I had already thrown and re-arranged all my outfits several times and I was getting tired and annoyed. And to top it all off, Rosalie looked amazing, as always. She was wearing this green skirt, which flared out, magnificently on her legs. I hated her. I groaned and threw myself onto my bed.

"I hate you Rosalie." She chuckled and shook her head.

"Shut up, Bella and wear this." She took something out of my closet, still on the hanger and threw at me.

"Ow." I moaned, the metal curve digging into my mid-drift. "That fucking hurt, Rose you bitch."

"Whatever. Just. Get. It. On." I mumbled something mean and horrible underneath my breath but still I sat up, took of my clothes and put whatever she wanted me to wear on. Which turned out to be a simple black dress with embroidery and lace on the straps and such. How had I missed this in my closet? It was perfect and so beautiful. I should know, I picked it out of the rack in the shop.

"Rose…your fucking brilliant. Have I told you I loved you?" She laughed which came out more of a cackle but whatever, I pulled her into a hug and I grabbed my pillow chucking at her.

"Bella. Stop. Bella. I'm telling you – Ah!" We were both giggling and laughing and throwing pillows at it. It was times like these where I really loved my friends. "Woah. Okay, okay. Serious, Bella. Do you want me to do your hair?" Duh, how can she even bother to ask that? I was going to a dinner with the Cullens. And Edward. I need to look amazing!

"On one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to do my make-up as well."

--

We headed up to their big, stained-glass window doors, which were double by the way, they had a whole drive way and then after driveway there was a path way instead of concrete there were white coloured gravel. Our heels got stuck between the stones, Rosalie and me took hold of each other, making our way to the doors and laughing all the way.

The nerves placed in the pit of my stomach were becoming nervous again, I tried to shove them all off, to bury them in an unwanted place but I failed and they surfaced. I hadn't seen Carlisle yet, I wondered if he had changed much, since I had last seen him. I always liked Carlisle; he was someone I could always confide in if Esme wasn't around. He joked and although came across hard and stony was actually a real fluff ball inside.

Alice opened the door and squealed, pulling us both into a hug. She was wearing a dress too, so I didn't feel completely out of sorts, although Alice would turn up wearing a crown to a speed racer competition. So that didn't exactly help my feelings of over-dress-ness. I obviously hadn't seen their new house; despite memorising their old ones with the amount of times I visited that place. Or rather visited _someone_.

Alice led me and Rosalie both to the sitting room, Rose apparently had not been to see their new house either, where she had been screwing Emmett I assumed was at his place. I could never hear them and Rosalie is a screamer, I've unfortunately found out.

Esme and Jasper were already in the sitting room, Esme who despite wearing an apron managed to look amazing still. I admired that woman. I suddenly remembered I hadn't seen her properly in three years. Three years! Yeah, I saw her in class but that was different. She wasn't smiley-wiley Esme she was just Grinning-for-the-world Esme then. And she hadn't changed a bit! Neither of them had, to be honest. Well, except maybe Edward but that was in the looks apartment and man, had they improved?!

"Bella." She smiled, like she always did and came towards me and hugged me again, just like she did earlier. "I'm so glad you decided to come." She whispered in my ear, all of the Cullens had always managed to do this thing with me where they like talk and I feel like dieing. They are magnificent people. I smiled because I didn't really know what else to say apart from _I'm starving woman, so get the food on the table. Because I've missed you're cooking… _

It didn't help when the smell of the food decided to waft into the living room, my tummy rumbled and I clutched it, hoping nobody had heard it. Esme giggled and made her way to the kitchen, telling me dinner would be out in just a minute. I flushed. She'd heard. Damn.

I hadn't spoken to Jasper all that properly since I had left Forks so I was excited to see him again. All six of us were close but I was always much closer to Emmett then I was to Jasper. He was always so tense and quiet. I wondered so much how he could possibly be with Alice. But they were the golden couple so something must be going right. I hugged Jasper and felt him tense up. No change there then. How did Alice put up with that? The sex must be awkward and well, tense-y. Although, I was hardly in the place to nit-pick at sex considering I wasn't getting any.

We all sat down at table, me next to Rosalie and a spare seat. Emmett was opposite Rose and of course Alice was next to Jasper. I presumed Carlisle was still at work and I had absolutely no idea where Edward was. In all honesty, I stopped caring when I saw and smelt the food Esme was carrying out, my stomach jumped into action and boy did it grumble. It was an assortments of well, everything really. Vegetables, meats, wrinkly green-stuff, fish. Everything. I thought that was everything until Edward brought out a bowl of buttered-covered potatoes. My mouth watered at the sight. Well, both sights.

"Finally put those cooking skills you taught me all those years ago, eh Bella?" He grinned. Fucking grinned. Like we were okay now or something. And then I stopped myself, I hadn't really thought about it that way; I guess we were kind of okay. Now. I mean, the whole letter thing wasn't cleared up but would it ever be? I forced out a giggle and tucked in straight away so I could get my fair share before Emmett scoffed it all down. My plate was piled up, I had hardly eaten today and I was starving!

I had forgotten all about Carlisle due to my mini-binge and almost forgot whom he was when he walked through to the dinning room. He hadn't changed either. Jeez, did nobody age in this family?! He stopped when he saw me. Oh man, did he recognize me? Was he thinking, who the fuck are you? Stuffing yourself with my wife and sons homemade potatoes! Yes, Carlisle had decided to walk in smack bang in the middle of me shoving a roastie in my mouth. Typical.

"Bella!" He grinned. "I almost didn't recognize you!" Okay, I take it word hadn't made it round that I was actually attending this university yet then. "What a coincidence of you going to this Uni too." No maybe, he had. Since, I was obviously busy right now with my potato, I made a plan to hug him later. He sat down and tucked in, just like all the rest of us. I had managed to refrain myself from taking seconds despite the fact that I was tempted but I had managed to suppress my grubby monster.

Dinner was nice. Awkward but nice. I almost felt my heart stop when Emmett mentioned the word letter; luckily it was about some application for work or something like that. But still, its not like I really wanted to discuss this whole thing anyway. Or maybe I did, more likely I just wanted to discover who wrote the damn thing and then beat the living shit out of them.

That would suit me nicely.

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_Hope it didnt bore you too much ;] And review please =]_


	8. Chapter 8

__

So sorry for how long this took! I've done like no writing these holidays and school starts in no less then two days;[ Life sucks. And this chapter is a whole page shorter then what i usually write but i hope its not too suckish.

_I cant believe i'm almost at 100 reviews! It may not seem like a lot to you but it is to me, i've never gotten to triple figures before lol. So please review and help me get to 100 :D _

_Anyways,,,, Enjoy ;] _

_Oh and theres EB stuff in here ;]_

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**Chapter 8**

After dinner, silence had kind of enveloped us. It wasn't awkward, just silent. I wondered when it would feel normal again, if it would ever feel normal again with the Cullen's. I used to love being around them, I still do.

Even when Esme is gently smiling at me, wondering if I am going to start hurling abuse at Edward whether I will cry, I know its what's she's thinking. I can tell. And Carlisle. Carlisle watches me from the corner of his eye. Keeping an eye on me I guess, to make sure I don't drop a comment – had I ever before? No. So why would I start now? Because their son had unknowingly to himself, apparently, broken my heart. I was sure they didn't know the ins and outs of the situation though. You know the whole, I-wrote-a-letter-running-of-with-some-random-guy-your-son-wrote-a-letter-saying-he-didn't-want-me-any-more. Bla bla bla. You get the picture. After dinner, Esme decided to break out with some dessert, which resulted in butterscotch cupcakes – I was sure, she made them just because they were my favourite. I managed to restrain myself and only devoured three. Though it was very difficult.

At about eleven at night, I decided it was probably best if I headed home, Alice was staying the night with Jasper. And Rosalie had decided to stay the night with Emmett in his dorm so she could _boink_ him, it was hush-hush of course. That meant the dorm was mine. Peace. Well, until Alice came bouncing in at ridiculous time o'clock anyway. I was already fantasising about a long, hot bath and a sit down to some ridiculous cheesy-grin movie when I had barely realised I had already said goodnight to Carlisle and Esme. Alice killed me with her arms and Jasper gave me a peck on the cheek. Rosalie and Emmett were already making out in the car, thinking no one could see them due to the steam on the windows. How very wrong they were because now I will have nightmares.

I turned and Edward was standing by the door, holding it out for me like a gentleman. Motherfucker. I hated it when he did that, it made my brain go mushy and my knees wobbled. Like they didn't naturally already.

"Bella…you looked beautiful tonight." Curse my blushing cheeks. I smiled as best as I could muster, I hated compliments, they were nice and all, I just never knew what to say afterwards, especially when they came from Edward. "And I thought you didn't do dresses." He chuckled and I couldn't help but let a giggle slip and I managed to find my voice – which was a bonus.

"Yeah well it's amazing what you can wear when you have your sister picking your clothes out!" I poked him playfully, like we were kids again. By this time everybody else had vacated the hallway and Rose and Em, well I don't think I really need to go into details what they are probably doing. "No." I continued. "I wanted a change."

"Why?" He was curious. Because of you. Duh. But then I would sound like some pathetic ex who can't get over her ex. Which yeah was what I was, although I'm kind of hoping to be without the pathetic. I shook my head, still smiling. I wasn't surprised. Edward had always had this sort of effect on me.

"I don't know, I guess I just needed a change. Tired of my old clothes. I wanted to look nice."

"Bella, you always look nice. Great even…" He trailed off and I knew he muttered something under his breath. I blushed. He thought I looked gorgeous!

"Thanks." I murmured. He was stroking the back of his neck. I used to love running my hands through his soft, bronze hair. It's such a rare colour, yet so vibrant. I couldn't think of any other that would suit him better.

"Listen, Bella." He started. He wasn't going to start talking about the whole letter situation was he? Sure, I wanted know. I desperately wanted to know. But I didn't want to know at this moment time. I was feeling calm and serene; I felt a happiness I hadn't felt in quite some time. And I liked it. I sure as hell didn't want it ruined by some sick fuck that just wanted to ruin a perfectly good relationship. I sighed.

"What is it, Edward?" _Please, do not bring it up_. I silently begged him.

"About last week. The night of the party." Oh, he was talking about that. Well better then some piece of rag with shitty ink on, I guess. "I'm really sorry about the way I acted." Erm, why? "I know it wasn't my place, its just I heard the way he was talking to you and-" He was clenching his fists. This wasn't a good sign. He did this when he was angry – of course – but it was rare, he didn't get angry much but when he did, he was pretty much lethal. He would probably scare me if it wasn't for the fact that most of the time he was going insane because he was in fact protecting me. Of course I would scold him, but I had known that deep down he did it because he loved me. Maybe he still did? I wished that he still did.

_Because I still love you…_I wordlessly whispered.

"Edward." I stopped him. I knew where he was going with this. "Seriously, that's just Jacob. He's an inconsiderate warthog and I hate him. There's no way I would have done anything with him." Was I wondering if he was jealous now? Is that why I wanted him to so desperately see that even if I was destitute with a family of pigs that I would never be with him. The boy was a dog. And not a cute one.

"No, Bella. That's not what I meant. I know you wouldn't have done anything with him. I mean, if you wanted too, that's cool. You know, I wouldn't have a problem…not that I should but I wouldn't and-"

Oh good lord, he was stuttering. And now we were in the realm of discomfort and awkwardness. This sucked.

"Anyway. If I hadn't of been there Bella." He grabbed my hand, running slow, gentle, way-too-soothing circles over my hand. "I don't know what he could have done. He was drunk, which means uncontrollable." Unbeknownst to myself, I placed my hand over his and I began running circles over his hands, calming him down. He had been clenching his fist again.

I felt like we could have stood there forever, sounds ridiculous but I don't care, just feeling his skin against mine again after all this time was like a jigsaw was finally starting to bring itself together. Edward had stopped talking about the Jacob situation, my eyes were begging him too and I'm sure he took notice of them. I hadn't forgotten how beautiful his green orbs were. They were the type where you could just fall into them. Deeper and deeper.

"Edward, where did you put my- Oh. Bella, I'm sorry I didn't realise you were still here." I flushed red and wondered what this must look like to Carlisle. Ridiculous? Or Beautiful?

"Don't worry about it." I mumbled. "I need to get going. Rosalie and Emmett are probably waiting for me anyway." I peered round the door, it had been open but due to the length of mine and Edward's conversation – that felt weird to mention – it had slowly been closing. I looked out to where all the cars had been parked and where Rose and Emmett had been sexing each other up. They were gone.

What the fuck?

"What's wrong?" I hadn't realised that I was staring at the now empty driveway in complete and utter shock. I couldn't decide whether I should be stunned or pissed off at the fact of being jilted by my supposed best friend and her…fuck buddie. But they did I really want to have to sit in back watching Rose feel Emmett up while he tried but no doubt failed to keep an eye on the actual road. I groaned loudly and stormed out of the house, muttering further goodbyes to Carlisle, now I was going to have to endure a long walk home – with no fucking music. This was like my own personal hell and it sucked!

"Erm, dad. I'm going to take Bella home. Can I have the car keys?" Before I knew it, Edward was running up behind me.

"Edward, erm what are you doing here? I need to get home." I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just annoyed now. My dress was short, I had a crappy little jacket and it was cold. He sighed dramatically.

"I know Bella, I would drive you but Emmett was the one who had driven us here and well, he took the car. I was going to spend the night but there's no way you are walking home by yourself. Its pitch black." I couldn't help but grin at this. He was such an amazing guy, a perfect boyfriend. Not my perfect boyfriend, though of course, right now I highly doubted that would ever happen again.

"Oh that's okay, thanks Edward." I didn't bother arguing with him, I knew he would just ignore me and do it anyway. In a good way and all, it didn't matter how long I hadn't seen him. His protectiveness would never change.

It took us thirty-five minutes to get home, which was actually pretty good considering it took about fifteen in the car. I guess Edward made me walk faster then normal. I had thought about Edward everyday since I left Forks but I hadn't thought in great detail at how actually funny he was. He has this little laugh where he's forcing himself not to laugh but then it comes out and chuckles and then slaps his forehead. It's my private signature mood for him. And it suits him perfectly.

--

It had become a weekly thing for me to visit the Cullen's for dinner. It was nice and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was something I had done often when I lived back in Forks, these weekly dinners were making me feel like I was being accepted back into the family and it made me feel great. I was on my way to another family dinner, Alice was already there as was Emmett so me and Rose were going together. I felt like I hadn't spent all that much time with Rose lately, between classes and Rose with Emmett, I had recently taking up shopping as my second hobby, first reading – yes, I know Bella Swan loves shopping, it's a crazy world. I had also taken up to spending time with Edward. It turned out the library was next to the room where all the music equipment is kept, it wasn't quite a music room, I wasn't sure what it was. I had never been in there but I was coming out of the library the same time Edward was leaving the 'music room', this apparently turned into a ritual as did us grabbing coffee straight afterwards. We managed to avoid discussing us as a couple, when we were a couple and all those kind of memories. We didn't have a problem discussing memories before we were a couple though. We laughed often together and I looked forward to our daily coffee dates. But date is the complete wrong word because it wasn't a date, it was a…friendly gathering. Which sounds all kinds of lame but what would you call it?

I couldn't decided between a blue dress or a pair of jeans a top, I decided on the jeans since I had worn a dress before and I may be all clothes and all now but I'm still not all on the dress belt. I grabbed a pair of my converse and grabbed my phone and shit. I was meeting Rose outside.

"Cute outfit." I stopped. CUTE?! I don't want to look cute for fucks sakes! What am I twelve? I hadn't realised I had actually said it all out loud because the next thing Rose said was; "Jeez, chill out Bella. You look hot. Better?" I nodded, stiffly and she rolled her eyes, getting in her car and cranking up the stereo to full volume. We didn't exactly share the same music taste but I guess, Rose's music wasn't all that shit.

We arrived fifteen minutes later and headed to the house, we went in without knocking, one of the traits we'd picked up in the millions of times of being here. Esme had told us to just come in anyways.

"Rose. Bella. You're just in time. Edward is just dishing up."

"Oh, Edward is dishing is he?" Rose giggled and I couldn't help but let out a laugh too.

"Hey, don't knock him. He's very proud he's been trying to make this dinner perfect for all of us."

"More like Bella." Rosalie flounced off calling out "Emmie-Bear" along the way. I blushed and looked anywhere but Esme, she was smiling at me though, I could tell. Esme had like this radiant smile going on, you just knew when she was smiling. And she was smiling now.

"I'm erm…going to…set the table or something…"

"Okay sweetie." I headed to the dining room, picking the dinner mats and cutlery amongst the way. Alice was upstairs with Jasper, I could hear her giggling and Rose and _Emmie-Bear_ were making out on the couch, pretty heavily considering his mother was around. I was lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice Edward setting out all the vegetables on the table, he chuckled when I screamed, not loud enough to distract Rosalie and Emmett but loud enough for Edward to get a laugh out of it.

"Shut up!" I playfully hit him and continued with the placemats.

It seemed tradition for Carlisle to be the last one home and he was, by the time he arrived we were halfway through Edwards homemade tomato soup. Yes, Edward made soup! Homemade! And it was delicious.

We said our hellos to Carlisle and all the boring junk you have to endure with your own families at dinner. I would be completely intrigued into Carlisle's work if it didn't include such a huge amount of blood. His work interested me completely but just the mention of blood sent shivers through me. Shivers that didn't feel so good.

The conversation changed to the topic of the boys apparently going away for some road trip, except Carlisle was bailing out. Something due to a conference in another state. Gee, guys a road trip? Thanks for the invite.

"Well, why don't you three still go and the girls join you?" Carlisle offered. I was joking. I didn't really want to go on some stupid road trip. Stuck in a car with Emmett? With two madly-in-love couples sucking face? Stuck with ridiculous pet names such as EMMIE-BEAR!? No thank you. No, seriously I'm fine, so Alice stop talking.

"I think that's a great idea!" The guys were nodding their heads and Rosalie was more interested in looking at her nails which her 'i'm up for it' in silent code. "You're in, aren't you Bella?" Jeez, say it anymore patronising? I didn't bother arguing. The Cullen family were stubborn and persuasive. They could get anything they wanted if they put their mind to it and most of the time they didn't even need to. Well, everyone but Emmett that is. I nodded.

"Yeah, sounds good. Road trip. Yay…" I trailed off, muttering to myself. I hadn't realised how grateful I would have been if that conversation had continued though, given the next conversations starter.

"Emmett, no. Its inappropriate." I heard Rosalie hush to him but Emmett shrugged her off. He rarely did this. Must be good.

"So, Edward. Bella." He turned to look at us both as he said the names. Edward stopped eating. And looked at Emmett, a slight smirk at how serious Emmett was being. It was wiped of in a second.

"Did you ever find out who sent the letters?" A breath of death filled the room and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. And take my cursed, blushing cheeks with it.

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_Ohhh, little cliffhanger there sorries. ;] Review please :} Thanks for reading :D_

_Oh and on my profile i decided to start a poll on what my next Twi story should be. Its a while away but i'm already thinking and would appreciate some input on what you guys think i should do. So go vote! Pretty please with an Edward on the top ^^ _


	9. Chapter 9

_Yay! I reached 100 :D:D Thanks so much for reviewing it really does mean a lot. I wanted to post and finish this before i went away but i actually have the next two chapters planned [the last few i've been writing of the top my head, almost] including the letter revelation ;] _

_So yeah its coming sooooooon ;D Hope you enjoy this! _

_Oh and a few of you kinda hated on Emmett which was not what i wanted so hopefully you wont hate him so much after this chapter;]_

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**Chapter 9**

EPOV

I couldn't believe Emmett. I wasn't talking to him. I hadn't been for the last week. To just bring it up like that, it was inappropriate and it wasn't the right time. I didn't know if there was ever going to be a right time. But still, my relationship with Bella had increased, whilst I had been here we were becoming friends. Heck, we had even decided to go on a road trip together, there were other people coming too but no doubt they would be too busy jumping each others bones they would hardly notice us, which in turn would make it like it would only be me and Bella. Not that I was complaining. I loved the idea in fact. I wasn't surprised when my dad revealed he had to cancel the trip, he had been working hard recently, trying to mesh well with the new hospital. From what I heard it was going well.

I was glad my father mentioned the girls too come, that was the best idea he had had in a long time! It was a few weeks away but I still couldn't wait. Now all I needed to do was fix mine and Bella's friendship first, no thanks to Emmett it was all awkward now. She didn't go to the library everyday or if she did, she changed her schedule so I wouldn't see her, the few times I did see her, she walked away almost straight away. I guess that means no more coffee breaks then.

I had been thinking of that night every night, wanting to rip Emmett to shreds for even bringing it up. What was he thinking? Just bringing it up as if it was no big deal. It was a big deal. It was a big fucking deal to me! It was my life that was ripped up because of the selfishness of one person!

"_Did you ever find out who sent the letters?" I couldn't believe the awkwardness that now filled the room. How everything was normal again, felt like old times. It surprised me how just one question manage to take away the last few weeks like they had never happened. But as I thought over the question, I wasn't so surprised by it after all. It was one of the things both Bella and me felt the most uncomfortable discussing, right before the relationship we used to have. I tried not to look at Bella but I couldn't help it. It was like an invisible magnetic pull, pulling me closer and closer to her. I flicked my eyes at her, quickly looking at the plant behind her to try to make it so it wasn't too obvious I was staring. _

_I failed. But there was no shame in trying, right? I let my eyes glaze over her. It took a few minutes but she soon reciprocated. She looked at me and I could see it. The tears that were beginning to fill her eyes. I clenched my fists and turned to glare at Emmett. How dare he make Bella cry? _

_Everybody was feeling out of sorts now, I could feel it. My mother had let out a small gasp, surprised and stunned by Emmett. We all were. Rosalie was furious, she was now glaring. It didn't take much too get Rosalie mad but I had never seen this kind of fury in her eyes before. _

_Alice and Jasper were quiet, Emmett was smiling – sort of, unaware of the atmosphere he had caused. Fucking jackass. _

"_Erm…I think its t-time I should g-go." Great, now she was leaving. Bella stood up, grabbing her purse, she stumbled for a second and I made my way too stand up immediately. "Thanks for the dinner…" She was going to say something else but decided against it, she turned to leave and I could hardly believe no one was going to follow her. This was my chance. I moved my chair with such a force, I didn't realise I had and headed towards the door. I couldn't just let her leave! _

"_Bella wait!" She had just opened the door to leave and we were both left in the deserted hallway. She turned towards me, her eyes not looking up, but looking at the floor. I sighed; I really didn't want this to fuck up our 'friendship'. I couldn't risk losing her again. I headed towards her and she stumbled back. "Bella, please." She didn't look up; I took her hands into my own. "Talk to me. Lets not allow the past to ruin this." She shrugged. "Bella." I pleaded. _

"_I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know what to say." I relented but I didn't want to drop out hands, instead I let go of one and placed it under her chin, lifting it up. There were soft droplets of water running down her cheeks, she squeezed her eyes shut and more fell. I went to wipe them away but she placed her hand on my own. _

"_Don't." _

"_Bella?" _

"_I can't let myself get involved with you again, Edward. I just can't." She was looking at me now. Looking straight into my eyes, I knew that she could see everything. "I don't want to get hurt again." _

"_Bella. I would never hurt you." I leaned it, anxious to what she would do or how she would react. It was a slight movement but I caught it. She tilted her chin. She wanted me to kiss her. I know it. I pressed my lips against hers softly. It felt like the last three years of my life were just washing away before me. I wanted to stay like this forever and I didn't care how corny that sounded. But it was over. She was pulling away. _

"_No, I can't. I'm sorry Edward." She turned away, heading right out of the door and back to her own dorm. I knew that I should run after her but I also knew she wouldn't want me too. I needed to insist that she mustn't walk home by herself but it wasn't dark like before. I couldn't use that excuse. So I let her go. Just like I had done before. _

_--_

I threw my fists into the punching back harder this time, repeating it over and over. I needed to vent my frustrations out on something. I was usually the quiet, artistic type. Sit on a rock and listen to depressing music. I did it well. But every now and then, I needed to use my fists for something. And now was that time. I pictured Emmett's face, I was so furious at my brother. Was he retarded or something? Wasn't it obvious me and Bella hadn't spoken about it? We were getting along better and all that, sure but there was still awkwardness between us. I wasn't too fucked up and too in love to _not_ notice it. I hit the back one more time, harder then any of my previous punches. The monstrous bag banged into something with force but the person made no movement. As if they were barely affected by it. Emmett.

I looked up, he looked serious. He was never serious. He let out a gentle smile, I returned it with a glare and moved on too the weights. I heard him sigh before he followed me.

"Eddie, come on! Don't be like that." I turned to him, my face hard and my voice cold.

"Don't call me Eddie." He could see that I was angry; he put his hands up in defence.

"Alright. Chill out. I'm sorry if I hurt you or upset Bella. But I did you both a favour!" A favour? What. The. Fuck?

"How the fuck did you do me a favour, Emmett? You ruined a perfectly great night." I picked up the heaviest weight I could find, it took all my strength to lift it but I didn't dare put it down, not in front of my goofed-up, macho big brother. He sucked in a breath, clearly annoyed.

"Think about it Eddie – Edward – say the whole _letter thing_ was never brought up ever again. What do you think would happen?" He questioned. I didn't say anything; I didn't want to give him any satisfaction because he was in fact right. For argumentably the first time in his life and my brother was already the biggest dickhead you could find, we didn't need to add sorta-smart to his résumé. I shrugged my shoulders, how was I supposed to answer that? I wasn't a fucking fortuneteller for Christ's sakes.

"I do, Edward. I know you and I also know that in order for you to be with Bella, friends or possible more, you wouldn't ever mention the letters **ever** again, because you know the effect it had on her and you know how it upsets her. And I know that you don't want to upset the girl you love." I stared him. Was I that see through?

"Wow, Dr. Phil. That's deep." I said, sarcastically. Truth was I had no flaming idea what to say and the whole situation was just making me tense and nervous and sick. Plus, I needed to get Emmett of his fucking high horse. Stupid jackass.

He pelted me on the back of my head and glared, I gave him the same equal glare. He may have been physically stronger then me but I could still take him. Sure, he would beat me and kick my ass but I would at least take some of his energy.

As I over-analysed the situation in my head, I realised; Emmett had done me a favour. Bella didn't want to talk about the whole letter situation, granted I didn't but I would rather get it out of the way then not discuss it at all. Whenever something about our past was mentioned, she would tense up, be edgy and run away. Maybe we did need a little push? If the letter thing was never truly figured out, I knew that me and Bella would never be a couple again.

The letters would just loom in our minds, all through our lives, whether we were still talking or not, I knew that we would wonder if the letters had never happened, would we still be together? Had we talked about it, would we overcome things? If the person was revealed, would we be together just like we had always dreamed?

My thoughts went unanswered of course and I hadn't realised how long I was standing there, thinking, looking deep in thought until Emmett cleared his throat as if to remind me.

"What?" I sighed and finally relented. "Alright, you were right. If Bella had it her way I would never mention the letters ever again." He let out a slight grin. Bastard. "What?! You think I want to talk about the letters too? Man, that shit fucked up my life, I hardly want to discuss it with the person I lost over it."

"I know, I'm sorry that that happened to you. I don't know why anybody would do it y'know. I mean, you and Bella you were like…tight. Everybody loved you guys together." He was smiling now, just at the memory of it, I nodded my head along with him, agreeing with everything he was saying.

"Any idea on who might of actually…you know…wrote them?"

"No. If I did, don't you think I would be rounding you and Jasper up to help me beat them to a pulp?" He let out a shear of laughter and I couldn't help but let some out too. "Maybe, Rosalie too. That girl is fucking mental!"

"Yeah, but that's why I love her." Emmett said softly, well as softly as Emmett is able to say. I smiled then halted. If I had a drink right now, it would be all over Emmett.

"You **love **her? Like seriously?" I couldn't believe it, Em in love, it just seemed so surreal. I thought he would hit me, or at least threaten to beat me. Something! But all he did was grin. Fucking grin like a Cheshire cat.

"Yes. I do."

"So you and Rose? Your like official now then?" His smile faltered and I felt guilty for bringing the topic up, it obviously had a bit of a negative effect on him.

"I…don't know what Rose wants right now. And I definitely do not want to pressure her into being in a relationship with me you know? We've only just begun seeing each other again, I don't want to fuck it up." I had never seen my brother so…well…in love. I put my hand on his shoulder, mockingly; my face couldn't hold back the smirk.

"My brother. In. Love. How adorable."

"Fuck you." We laughed and began playfully wrestling with each other – yes even grown men liked to do that. We continued this for a while, wrestling on the floor and having a pretend boxing match with the gloves and all that, of course Emmett won but I came close to winning, stupid fucker threw me on the floor just as I was about to gut him one.

We stayed in the gym for the next couple of hours, working up a sweat on the number of different machines. I stayed mostly on the treadmill, I wasn't so much a fast runner but I could run long distance. Emmett was more of weights kind of guy, which wasn't so unbelievable when you looked at him and saw the kind of muscles that were contained in his shirt.

Just as I was coming to an end of my run, I was about to ask Emmett if he wanted to go grab a pint or something in the local bar but we were interrupted by the Ice Bitch herself. If there was one girl who was good enough for my big brother it was Rosalie Hale, them two were like the biggest psychotic, perfect couple you would ever find. She was beautiful that was true but she wasn't my type. I remember way back when me and Bella first got together, she was so nervous and so frantic because she constantly compared herself to Rose, despite Rose being her best friend. Me and Rose always had this banter and insult thing going on between us, I loved her really, despite how bitchy and catty she could be, Bella at one point thought I had a thing for her. Why would I have a thing Rosalie, when I had my beautiful Bella?

"Emmie Bear where were you?" Emmie bear? The Fuck? Her lip was curled over her other one he was pouting – to my brother. Emmett would laugh in her face for sure, Emmett didn't do this shit. It was me who fell for this kind of the stuff. I was the 'pussy' of the family according to Emmett when it came to relationships anyway.

"I'm sorry, pickle jar but I needed to talk to Edward you know, about the other night." Before I knew what was happening, I burst into laughter against my own will. Emmett turned to look at me and Rosalie scowled, a hand on her hip and her eyebrows arched. I shot them both a semi-apologetic look.

"Sorry but…pickle jar? Seriously, oh man that shit is fucked up."

"Its not exactly the best nickname but you know your brother Edward, he's not exactly inventive." Rosalie quipped, a slight smile on her face.

"Yeah, I'm not inventive Edward. Wait – what? You think I'm dumb?!" Rosalie looked at Emmett, unsure of how to handle this. My brother could be very sensitive.

"Not dumb, Emmie Bear just…"

"Dumb?" I finished for her; she scowled again but in the end gave in. Emmett tried to pull his whole 'I'm mad at you routine but it really doesn't work unless you have breasts. Well, for me anyway. Rosalie apologised by kissing him, I could feel my morning bagel begin to come up. Lets just say Rosalie and Emmett didn't exactly do _soft kisses_.

After a few minutes had passed, I was getting tired of just standing there, in the middle of the gym, covered in sweat, watching my brother make out with his I'm-in-love-with-you-but-you're-kind-of-not-my-girlfriend-just-my-sex-buddie friend or whatever Rose exactly was to Emmett at this apparent time. I wondered how Rosalie felt about Emmett? Did she share his feelings; she was bound to have told Bella. Maybe I could use that as an excuse to talk to her? You know cause I care about my brother and all…that. Finally they managed to disentangle themselves from each other.

"So, Edward you looking forward to this road trip next week?" Random conversation started but whatever, I nodded. Rosalie looked to the floor as if she was trying to find a way to speak her next words to me. When she decided to look at me again, I gave her a pointed look. She sighed. "You know, I don't think Bella's going to come on this road trip thing. She doesn't want it to be awkward between you guys or anything."

"You mean, the letters were mentioned and little scared Bella runs away?" I had no idea where this rashness was coming from but I suddenly felt mad at Bella. Didn't she get that the letters hurt me too? Didn't she understand that overcoming it would only make both of us stronger? We couldn't become stronger if she was just going to run away every time somebody mentioned them.

"Well…I…erm….Emmie Bear help me out here."

"Will you excuse me?" I asked, already making my way to the exit.

"Edward, where you going?" I heard Emmett call back but I didn't answer. There was something I had to do or rather someone I had to go and see.

--

I stormed out of the gym, slamming the door behind me and made my way to Bella's building. I knew where it was since I walked her home that night of the building but I didn't know what number. That was going to be a problem. Maybe I should have gotten it from Rosalie. I shook my head, it was too late for that now, I couldn't go back, I needed to sort this out at least a little bit. Bella needed to go on this trip with me. I didn't know why, I just wanted her there.

I made my way down the numerous halls, looking for any sort of sign, although I highly doubted there was going to be some massive sign saying: BELLA'S ROOM printed on it. When I had been down the hallways a couple of times, I relented and ended up making my way to a group of girls. They stopped and stared and blushed and giggled. Great, more girls I have to put up with slipping me their numbers. I cleared my throat and ran a hand through my hair.

"Do any of you happen to know which room Bella Swan is staying in?" It was a long shot but it was better then any other idea I happened to have right now. There was a slight pause before one of the younger girls piped up and told me what room she thought she was in.

I thought about it for a second, did I really want to go knocking on someone's door with the potential of a complete randomer answering it? Nevertheless I said my thanks and made my way to that certain door. She better be in there, otherwise I will feel like a complete prick.

I knocked lightly on the door, momentarily not wanting anybody to actually answer the door but it soon swiftly opened, revealing Bella.

Her eyes widened when she saw me and then her cheeks flushed her usual deep red.

"You have to go on the road trip Bella. Don't ask me why but I want you there and I know why you're not going." Her mouth was opening and closing but I continued to cut her off with my own words. "Your not going because the letters got mentioned at dinner and you don't know how to react around me but Bella…I don't know how to act around you either and you cant keep getting frightened and scared and run away every time it does come up because if we are ever going to be … you know…erm…friends then well, you cant run all the time." I lost my way when I questioned myself what we could possibly be in the future. Would she ever consider getting back together with me?

She was silent for a moment, I was all of a sudden afraid that she was going to yell, scream at me but all she did was nod.  
"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay." She repeated, shrugging her shoulders. "Your right, I do run and I shouldn't. I won't. Not anymore." I was baffled but I couldn't help but add;

"And the trip." She let out a small smile and I burst out into a grin and pulled her in for a hug, letting a slight kiss land on her head.

"You won't regret it Bells!" She grinned again.

* * *

_Road trip next and theres some long awaited smut in that chapter! So review!!! If you want it :D _

_Also wanted to see who you actually think wrote the letters? :D:D Thanks for reading :]_


	10. Chapter 10

_I'm writing this and i should be revising for my exam tomorrow... But anyways this needs to be done. Its taken me so long to write this chapter and i honestly can't wait to finish it so i can start something new. Which is a Edward/Bella story ...preferbly more happier then this one. _

_I've explained to some people but please understand this is an important year for me, and even though i dont study much i do need to do some. I have to do exams in order to get somewheer ein my life so if a chapter takes a while to come out i have a reason its just up to you guys whether its good enough? _

_But yeahs, here you go. Hope you like it. ;]_

_

* * *

Chapter 10_

**BPOV.**

"Rosalie, don't throw your shit at me, for fucks sake." I yelled at her as she was continuously throwing all her one hundred and one bags at me. We were loading up all our stuff in the car. Rosalie's car that is.

Don't ask me who came up with the brilliance of our 'road trip' plan but it was fucking ridiculous. Some moron thought it would be a great idea to pack mine and Rosalie's belongings in Rosalie's car then we would drive to the Cullen's and unpack all the stuff and re-load it into Jasper's jeep.

"I don't know why they didn't just pick us up of campus. Its stupid having to pack and unpack and then flaming pack again." Rosalie rolled her eyes and grumbled.

"Oh get over it Bella, its not that big a deal besides Emmett figured that if we do it this way it would save petrol since they were already staying there for the weekend." Emmett. Of course it was his idea. Hadn't they realised to not listen to him yet? There was a reason why he only _just_ got his grades you know! I mumbled and muttered insults at the both of them [Emmie Bear and Pickle Jar] I mean, idiots the pair of them and what the fuck was with those nicknames! I have no idea why we are all friends, why I let myself be embarrassed by them. Because I love them, that's why. Ugh, and I hate them for that!

I buckled my belt and flipped on the radio, of course Rosalie flipped it onto whatever CD she had in their at this apparent time – which was conveniently total shit right now. That's all Rosalie ever listened too. It was about a ten-minute trip to the Cullen house but in some ways Rosalie was like Edward and we were then in about three minutes.

"Come on, Bellend don't take forever!" I grumbled and mentally threatened to scratch her face – but we all know who would win out of that fight. Whilst Rosalie flipped her hair back over her shoulder and made her way to the front door, I didn't bother and just went straight to the boot, taking all the bags out. Rose would just make Emmett do it anyway.

Before I knew it, everyone and Alice's chirpy voice were crowding the car. Alice ran up and hugged me, Jasper stared stiffly. I don't think he ever really liked me to be honest. He nodded and I smiled – sort of.

I picked up my bags and made my way over too Jasper's jeep, Edward was already there loading up. I hadn't seen him since he had all but forced me into going on this damn trip and I really didn't want to make anything awkward between us because, well awkward sucks. And me and Edward have suffered through way too much awkwardness.

"Hey" I said, not even having to force a smile anymore. He looked up and didn't do anything for several seconds – was he going to be awkward around me instead? What a cruel trick of fate that would be!

"Hey." He grinned back; he reached out and took my bags from me, placing them on top of several others. At least mine would be one of the first ones out. "You sitting in front with me?"

"I don't know, am I?" I let out a quiet laugh. He chuckled and messed his hair up a bit. Ohhhh, his hair…now that was one thing I missed the most since we …well whatever we did.

"Well, Rose and Emmett already called the backseat – I don't even want to think about what they could possibly do in there. Jasper is all but forcing me to drive since he and Alice have called the middle seats. Your welcome to sit with them or…"

"I'll sit in front with you." I realised how rushed and eager I sounded and mentally slapped myself. He grinned though, completely unfazed by my reaction so I didn't bother to dwell on it. I blushed and tried to laugh it off. A few minutes went by when I realised that no words had actually been exchanged between Edward and I, we were just, well sort of staring at each other. I like his eyes; he had mystifying green orbs, eyes that you can just look into all day long and oh God! I'm staring at him like a total loser and he's looking at me like he knows I'm a total loser. Shit. My blush deepened and his smile only grew.

"So, yeah. I'm erm…going to erm…say hey to Emmett. Emmett!!!!" I called out whilst practically running off. Its not that what Edward did made me nervous or anything like that It was just because if I had have stayed any longer, I would have probably dragged him to the ground and would have most likely started dry humping him. Which I was fine with that part just not so fine with the audience part. I ran up to Emmett, throwing my arms around his mid-waist. I thought I had bumped into him rather hard but he hardly noticed, in fact he didn't even notice I was there until he began walking. I could hear Rosalie ordering Edward how to put the bags in the back of the car, sometimes screaming at him if he got it wrong. He didn't take it personally though, we never did that was just Rosalie and if we were all honest, we loved her for it.

After about an hour of turning up at the Cullen house we were just about packed and ready to go, before we headed of on the road, since it was a several hour trip, Jasper being the smart one had ordered in some pizza and now we were stuffing our faces. This was we wouldn't have to stop on the way to wherever it was we were going. It was in that moment that I actually realised – I had no fucking clue where we were actually going.

Rosalie was standing in the corner of the Cullen's kitchen, balancing a slice of pizza in one hand and a glass of Pimms in the other.

"Oh hey what's up?" I could barely make out what she was saying between her bites of pizza, the muffling sounds she was creating by her munching.  
"Do you know where we are actually going?" I felt like a complete fool for asking. What person makes plans to go on a road trip without knowing the destination? Rosalie shrugged her shoulders.

"I dunno. Some lake or whatever. All I know was Emmett begged me to do him in the water. That's the only reason I'm going." Okay, thanks for that Rose. Way too much information. Ugh. I rolled my eyes a grabbed a slice of pizza, shoving it in. Some lake huh? Well, wouldn't this be a trip of a lifetime?

--

I switched to the next track. Really, I hate rap music it's the worst kind and in fact a total embarrassment to music. I knew from years ago that Edward too took a disliking to it, we were both classical music fans in all honesty, however I wouldn't dream of playing something even remotely using a piano on this stereo, Emmett would have us labelled down as 'pussy's' for the rest of all eternity. Which didn't bother me all that much except for the fact that Emmett would say it every single time I saw him. And I saw him way to often to put up with that shit.

Alice and Jasper were cuddled together in the middle seat, Jasper was reading some war novel whilst Alice was sketching some design ideas, occasionally looking over too see what part he was reading. Rosalie had had Emmett's shirt of within five minutes and every now and then we would hear a fit of giggles and yeah, I didn't really want to dwell on too much of what was going on in the backseat.

Me and Edward however were just sitting up front, quietly listening to music. I found myself humming sometimes and Edward glanced over and smiled. His smile, I love his smile. _Jeepers Bella, fucking get over it will you?_ But that's just it. I've never gotten over it and in the past I actually did want to get over it but I couldn't. My heart wouldn't let me. And now that Edwards back in my life, I'm not sure I want to get over it. Him, I mean. I don't want to get over him. Not if there's a chance we could get back together, if he was still interested. And he has to be, right? I mean, he kissed me! You don't kiss people if you are not interested in getting back together with them!

After a while, when it seemed Rosalie and Emmett were sick of getting intimate and Alice and Jasper were bored of whatever it was they were actually doing they turned their attention to wherever the fuck we were.

"Damnit, Eddie. You got us lost?!" Emmett half-yelled from the back seat, Rosalie rolled her eyes, she loved her Emmie bear and all but even she could see when he was a pain in the ass.

"Whatever, Em. We're not lost. See. There's the sign for where we're going." Edward said, pointing towards a road sign.

"What the hell?!" Alice screeched. Edward glared at her through his window mirror.

"What?"

"We're not going there Edward, we're going to the lake. You fucking idiot!" She screeched some more.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know! Jasper gave me the postcode all I did was type the fucking code in this thing." He gestured towards his satnav.

"JASPER!" Rosalie yelled. Jasper looked positively scared, he ducked the fist that Rosalie was trying to throw at him,

"Erm…sorry?" Everyone huffed and groaned against their seats, Edward pulled over and started fiddling with his satnav.

"Well, where's this fucking lake then?" He turned around in his chair, glaring at everyone and anyone. Jasper shrugged his shoulders and returned the glare Edward was giving him. I sighed.

"If your meaning the lake that's like three hours away from home." I turned around in my seat so I could look at them all. "I'm considering its supposed to be three hours away, since we've been in this car for over three hours and no one's complained so…anyway the lake you guys are probably thinking of is the one just a few minutes away from Joe's Fat Fryer. You know the one where we…skinny dipped Rose." I blushed, I assumed Edward wouldn't know since it happened after we broke up. Rose chuckled.

"I remember that, oh and come to think of it the lake too." She told Emmett where the lake was and Emmett rang up to explain that we would be late to our rooms that night and if we could possibly get the postcode so Edward wouldn't fuck up again. Emmett's words not mine. I saw Edward clench his fist and I giggled, making eye contact with them and smiling, his fists immediately relaxed.

--

We had been sitting in traffic for the last hour, only moving a total of 100 metres in that space of time, which was ridiculous, by now it had already become nightfall.

Rosalie, Emmett and Alice had fallen asleep in the back a while ago, Jasper was reading some more of his war novel with his earphones in, I wanted to drop off, my eyelids were heavy but they would never fully close.

"So…you went skinny dipping huh?" Edward asked, looking over, his eyebrows waggling in a suggestive manner. I giggled and shook my head.

"It wasn't like that. It was starching hot, ridiculously hot and you know Rosalie, she stripped and jumped in and I…followed suit I guess." I laughed at the memory rushing back. She'd done it to try and cheer me up and it had worked for the most part. Once it was over though, my thoughts had gone rushing back. Rushing back to Edward.

"Yeah sure it wasn't." Edward said, bringing me back to reality. I looked over at him and smirked, he looked too. And I'm pretty sure if he wasn't driving the car…I didn't know what I would do.

"So. Was it hard?" I looked over again, my eyebrows furrowed with confusion. He got the message as he opened his mouth to continue. "Hard when you thought I no longer loved you. Was it hard to be without me or didn't effect you much?" Excuse you? Affect me much? Erm, no Edward it didn't bother me AT ALL. Stupid prick.

"Well, yeah of course it was hard, you broke my heart Edward. " I was irritated now. How dare he? Was it hard? Jeepers Christ, had he not been paying attention to the last few months or something? If it wasn't hard wouldn't I have just jumped right back into his arms or more so his bed? Not have ignored him, or frozen up and ran away when I saw him again. If it didn't matter to me wouldn't I have just said hello and whatnots but I didn't, because it did bother me. Because I loved him. I love him so darn much. Maybe too much. Maybe that was why I was such a mess at the time.

"There you go with the broken heart thing again, Bella. God, you act like I never got hurt in this too. My life and my heart was ripped apart, don't forget that. Not everything's about you."

"I never said it was." I half-yelled, I was beginning to raise my voice now. Why did he have to be so loveable one second and irritable the next? Because he's male, no doubt. He laughed cockily and looked at me again, arching his eyebrow.

"Yeah? Well you sure as hell act like it."

"Yeah? Well what about you? You…you….dick! You act all sorry for yourself, beg to talk to me on minute, ignore me the next, kiss me another and then go all I'm a prissy shithead like you are now."  
"Prissy shithead? Your calling me a prissy shithead? Talk about pot calling kettle black!" He snarled.

"Fuck you, Edward!"

--

We had arrived at the lake a little over an hour ago and it was pretty late, I really just wanted to go to my room and curl up in bed but we hadn't even decided what rooms were who's and who was staying with whom. I had a feeling I would be staying with Edward, since Rosalie would probably most likely want to play ride a camel with Emmett and Alice and Jasper probably wanted to play hop a bunny. I didn't so much as mind staying in a room with Edward that would be if I weren't so darn mad at him right now. I didn't say more then two words to him and had spent the rest of the drive glaring at him, rather not subtly out of the corner of my eye. Apparently, there was a pub nearby the lake, which Alice all but got on the ground and begged to visit, so currently I was drinking a gin and tonic in some sleazy bar watching Rosalie and Emmett hump with clothes on, on the _dance floor_, Alice eyeing up the layout and the design of the place, and Jasper and Edward play pool on a half broken table. To say I am bored is an understatement.

The guy behind the bars kind of hot though. At least I've got something to look at.

"Pint of bitter please." I turned to see Jasper next to me, he smiled, sort of. He was the only one awake in the car so I'm assuming he heard the argument me and Edward had. "Hey Bella, you okay?" He asked whilst waiting for his drink. I shrugged.

"I guess." He chuckled.

"You think Edwards a pompous prick right about now don't you?" I sighed.

"So you did hear, huh?"

"Bella, I'm surprised nobody woke up giving the decibels you guys were using."

"Sorry." I said, looking down at my drink, feeling guilty. "You think I should apologize?"

"Hell no, Edward was being a pompous prick." I laughed, causing Edward to look up and narrow his eyebrows. I resisted sticking my tongue out. Jasper must have noticed Edward too as he let out a low chuckle. "Edward likes you Bella. He never stopped."

I smiled lightly. Feeling a wave of fluttering in my stomach.

"I know. I erm…I feel the same way." I couldn't believe I was admitting it out loud to someone, and to Jasper who I was so sure hated me. Perhaps not?

"Bella. I think everyone knows that." I giggled. "You just got to do something that will make Edward snap. Make him jealous or something. Besides you're sharing a room with him tonight." He turned to go but I needed to know one more thing.  
"Jasper…how do I make him jealous? I'm not good at that kind of thing!" I flushed. He flicked his eyes to the bar.

"The guy behind the bar keeps checking you out. Go from there." He smirked, winked and headed back over to where he had been previously.

After a few minutes of contemplating and a few glances at Edward, only to find he was glaring at me each and every time, I decided to flirt with Mr. Barman. What could go wrong with a little flirting anyway? Lets just hope this works.

I didn't do much to be honest; I didn't really know what to do. I had never done much flirting in the past, only once and it had epically failed.

I ordered another drink, did that thing with my eyes where I look like I'm interested in him, Rose did it all the time, and he said the drink was on the house. Does that mean it's working?

"I get off work in ten minutes, want to go somewhere with me?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. Erm…how do I put this…no?

"She doesn't want to go anywhere with you." I didn't even get a chance to turn around and yell at him, he just grabbed my hand and pulled me outside. We started heading towards our cabin or whatever it was.

"Let go of me Edward. Stop being such a prick."

"What the hell were you thinking, Bella?! Flirting with him like some…like some cheap whore?!" He got out the room key and opened the door.

"WHAT? I was flirting not shagging him on the bar, Edward. Your such a jackass its unreal." I pushed past him, flipping the light on, so mad right now. How dare he call me a whore? I am not a whore!

"Okay. Fine I didn't mean to call you a whore. Your not. Most definitely not. Its just…God DAMNIT Bella. You infuriate me so damn much! And you don't even realise what you're doing." I was stunned for a moment, but only a moment.

"Yeah well…you infuriate me." I half-yelled hoarsely. We were quiet for a moment and then I didn't know who moved first but we were kissing. His lips on mine, his tongue begging for entrance into my mouth. I was ripping at his shirt, wondering why the heck it was still on. I wanted it off. In the end he pulled away and threw it off, throwing it on the floor. His eyes still flushed with anger from our petty fight, just a few moments ago. Yeah, well…I'm still mad at you…so there! I pulled away for a split second, throwing of my shirt and unclipping my bra. We had a lot of time to make up for it seemed but in the past it had never been like this. Always sweet and romantic but never this…passionate. I should hate him for being a dick more often.

His lips were attacking my neck and making there way down, kissing each of my breasts, taking turns whilst I reached down to undo his zip.

His lips attacked my own again.

"Damn it, Bella. You have no idea how long I've waited for this. For you."

* * *

_I will be the first to point out how epically terrible this sex scene was. If you can even call it that. I just wasnt in the mood to write one to be honest and i wanted this out there, so i'm sorry if i've dissapointed any of you :/_


	11. Chapter 11

_I'm baaaack. And hopefully with another chapter shortly to follow. But i have a LOT of shitty annoying coursework but fingers crossed. _

_So this is a relatively short chapter but at least its something right? Lets hope. _

_Thank you so much for all your reviews! They really do make my day! And i have the dreaded GrandParentals coming tomorrow so lets hops there's a few to at least make that day better :D Thank you for taking the time to read this 3 _

_Enjoy ;]_

* * *

Chapter 11

When I woke there was an empty spot next to me. My initial reaction was nothing. What was different? And then I remembered. I remembered last night; it all just came rushing back. Had he left? Had Edward ran because we had slept together last night? I couldn't believe he would do such a thing.

The first time we had slept together, I had thought the same thing but he had been in the shower. Within a second, I threw the covers over, grabbed Edward's shirt lying on the floor and banged on the bathroom door, when there was no answer. When I opened the door. There was no Edward either. I felt crushed, ashamed that he would do such a thing, anger that he would do this. I realised I was naked and grabbed the first thing out of my suitcase, it was some dress Rosalie and Alice had forced me to buy, Rosalie had said it need heels, sexy underwear and the perfect hairstyle to match but right now I didn't feel like dressing up. I just grabbed a pair of underwear, put on a pair of converse that I managed to bribe my friends into letting me keep and shoved a brush over my hair. I threw open the door and stormed over to Rosalie's room.

Rosalie threw her door open using almost the same power I had used, she was clearly annoyed at being woke up or interrupted, when she saw me, my face flushed and warm tears beginning to form, her face softened.

"Emmett, will you go get me the latest Heat please?" She didn't even bother looking at him, continuously looking at me.

"What? I thought we were going to-"

"Just do it! Please." I heard Emmett rustle around for something and then leave, barely noticing me. Rosalie nodded her head and walked into her room, I followed. I sat down on the bed, then re-thought about it, I didn't know what had gone on for them obviously being rather busy myself but I didn't particularly want to sit somewhere where it had the potential to be jizz-ified.

"Okay, what's up? Why'd you look like you can cry a river?" I sighed. I was almost afraid but this was Rosalie, someone I could tell anything to.

"I slept with Edward last night."

"Yeah, I know. We forced you to share the same room remember. I have to say that was Alice's idea but I-"

"No…No. I mean I _slept_ with Edward." I put the emphasis on slept. "I had sex with Edward last night." I knew she understood it when her eyes widened, her mouth opened and the first time in a long time, Rosalie was speechless. I dropped my eyes to the floor, unsure what to do with myself.

"Wha-. You mean…our plan worked?" She grinned and began clapping her hands in an excited manner. "This is great, why are you moping about this? Whether you want to admit it or not you've been wanting this since you guys broke up. So what's with the long face?" She put her hands on her hips, a stern smile gracing her face.

"He left. He left Rosalie. Just like before." She opened her mouth to speak but I interrupter. "I mean figuratively and mentally not technically." She closed it again. She softened and sat on the bed. She patted the bed for me to sit next to her and I gave her a look. She groaned and pulled me down with force.

"Relax, we didn't have sex last night."

"You didn't?" I asked, seriously surprised. She rolled her eyes.

"No. Not everything between me and Emmett is about sex okay?" I arched my brow, she glared at me back. "But you may not want to take a trip to my bathroom." She winked, I groaned in disgust.

"Rose, you-"

"Yeah, yeah. Save the sex insults till later, okay? So, what do you mean Edward left? Like right after you guys _did it_?"

"This morning. I woke up and he was gone."

"Well, did you check the bathroom because when you guys first did this little act, we sat here having the same conversation." I nodded my head annoyingly, questioning myself why I was putting myself through Rosalie and her questions otherwise know as torture.

"Yes, Rose I checked okay?! I checked. And he was gone." I stood up and headed over to the dresser that was stocked in the room, I leaned against it, turning to face her but not looking. "I woke up, placed my hand on where he had been last night and felt my heart break all over again."

Rosalie lifted herself of the bed and threw her arms around me, she stroked my hair and I wrapped my arms around her. This was why I came to her. I allowed myself to let the tears fall on to her bare shoulder. She shushed me and pulled away to look at me. She wiped away a falling tear.

"Its going to be okay. Okay? Go back to your room and wait for him. And if you're not ready for a confrontation then I'll yell okay?" I nodded.

"Thanks Rose. For everything."

"Its what I'm here for." She hugged me again and ran a hand through her hair. She glanced at her clothes. "Let me get changed and I'll go with you."

"You don't have to go with me, Rose. I love you but you don't have too." She shrugged.

"I know, but I want to. Besides I always love the chance to yell at that prick. It's fun. He's the only one who will stand up to me." She winked. "We'll wait together."

--

Rosalie wanted to grab a quick coffee first to wake herself up, I was in no way to disagree. It wasn't like I was desperate to get back to an empty room and I wanted a bagel. We made a slow walk towards my room, Rosalie did all the talking, all I did was grunt. When we came to the door, she stopped, I followed her eye gaze. The door was partly open. I looked at her, silently begging for her to go first, just in case. She sighed and pushed the door open. Edward was sitting on the bed, looking at us. Looking at me, pleading.

I stared at him, shocked he was here, Rosalie had commented that he might've been waiting but I refused to believe it, there was no way…but now, there was.

"Bella…"

"Edward." Rosalie cut him off, her voice laced with ice. Edward sighed and stood up, making his way towards us. His eyes flicked to me, lingering. He didn't even look at Rosalie when he spoke.

"Can I just…speak to Bella alone please?" Rosalie shrugged, glaring at him.

"That depends. You plan on sleeping with her and then leaving again?" He looked at Rosalie, shooting her some pretty impressive glares but he was no match for Rosalie. He looked at me again and I saw that his eyes softened.

"Please, Rosalie. I need to explain." Rosalie grumbled something under her breath, I tapped her on the arm.

"Its okay, we need to talk. I'll see you later?" I asked, concerned she would be mad or something, she relented and nodded.

"If you need me…" She stopped and gathered her thoughts. "If this tosser needs a smack…you know where to find me." I couldn't help but let out a small laugh beneath my breath. She winked and threw one last quick glare at Edward.

I squeezed my way past Edward and walked to the back of the room, it had the same layout as Rosalie's except there were no dresser, just a few wooden boxes. I stared at the wall and waiting, I heard the click that signalled Edward had just closed the door, wondering if he was going to say something first. There was a moment of silence as I continued waiting.

"Bella…I…I didn't leave. I need you to know I would never leave you." I didn't say anything and continued inspecting the paint. "Bella. Please. I needed to clear my head so I went for a walk that's all-" I turned to face him.

"You need to clear your head? About what?" I asked softly, confused. Did he regret it? Whilst the thought had crossed my mind several times since I had woken up, I had refused to believe it but now…now I knew it was a possibility. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"About us, I guess." I nodded and bit my lip.

"I knew it." I muttered beneath my breath. I began messing with the hem of my dress. "You know you don't need to worry Edward…I get it, you thought it was a mistake, its fine." I looked at him, his eyebrow furrowed. "Its okay."

"No Bella, that wasn't what I was going to say-"

"Really, Edward." I began, cutting him off. "You don't need to explain. Last night, you got angry and if my memory serves me correctly whenever your emotions are screwed, you always act out." There had been several times whilst we had been together where he had been forceful whilst kissing or something. He averted his eyes and looked at the floor then back up to me, I smiled softly and made my way to the door. I was stopped abruptly when I felt Edward pin me to the door. For a second I was scared until I noticed the lust lying in Edward's eyes. He leaned in and placed his lips on mine, I kissed back and before I knew it my hands were reaching for his shirt, lifting it up and pulling it over his head. He had created a frenzy In me, I was desperate but only for him. His hands trailed down my side, soothing the fabric against me, until his hand reached my thigh and instead of continuing south decided to travel up, under my dress. He placed soft kisses on my neck and before I knew it, he was throwing on the bed, unzipping his jeans, lifting my dress over my head. I wrapped my arm around his neck, pulling him closer to me, placing my lips on his own not wanting to part whilst he positioned himself.

"Edward." I lifted myself up on my elbows so I could face him properly, he stopped kissing me and looked up, deep into my eyes.

"What is it?"

"I just want you to know. Before…before this happens. I want you to know, that I still and will always love you." I smiled softly. "I love you, Edward Cullen." I felt the butterflies in my stomach increase and flutter wildly. He smiled cockily before moving a strand of hair that had fallen over my face and I bit my lip and eagerly waited for his response.

"Isabella Swan…I love you too." He replied before leaning in and kissing me all over again.

--

As punishment for getting us lost, insert sarcasm here please, Edward was being forced to drive us all back home, however I insisted on sitting upfront with him, to give him company to say the least. I couldn't help but take note of Jasper's smirk and Rosalie's eye roll.

But since we were in front, I got to choose the music or at least I managed to bribe Edward into letting me choose the music. I chose the country channel just to piss Emmett off, Edward smirked at me and grinned back, tucking my hair behind my ears. I noticed Jasper switch his iPod off, must like country music or something.

After several more rolls in the bed with Edward, we had decided to meet up with the others, however it turned out we hadn't been the only ones busy but we were hungry. We had decided to check out some local pub for a bite to eat and a drink but nothing to heavy since we were all going home tomorrow, we were expected at the Cullen's for dinner as soon as we arrived back. That night I had just laid in Edward's arms whilst he played with my hair. I hadn't realised just how much I had missed holding Edward since the whole letter thing. I never wanted to lose him again and yet a part of me was afraid I was soon about too.

--

After many hours of driving and two toilet breaks, we were back home and to say we were all tired was an understatement. That being said, I figured we could all agree that we had all had a good time. When we stepped out of the car, letting everybody all out, we didn't even bother unloading it we just headed in for some food since Edward had insisted no food stops. Rosalie had been most displeased. I slipped my hand into Edwards and headed towards the porch along with everybody else, I felt Edwards hand on my arm to signal me to stop, I turned to look at him, confused. Before I could say anything, he answered my confusion.

"I meant what I said, Bella. I love you and I want us to be together again. Officially." He was asking me to be his girlfriend? I didn't let on to the fact, I had actually already assumed I was but instead just beamed and pulled him into another kiss. When we made our way into the house and then into the dining room, it was obvious Esme had spend almost the entire afternoon cooking, the table was beautifully decorated and the food just looked so damn appetising.

It didn't take long for us all to tuck in and it didn't take long for Esme to realise me and Edward were together again. She tried to hide them but her knowing glances and sweet smiles were obvious to me. The only thing I couldn't understand was Carlisle. He looked distressed, almost upset. I felt the most amazing surge to want to know why.

Alice had been fairly quiet since we had revealed we were together again, I had thought she would be thrilled, scream even but there was no sound from her, barely a smile, but I refused to let that dampen my happiness. Alice could be confusing some other day; I really couldn't be bothered to deal with it now.

"That was really delicious, Esme. But I have tons of work to catch up with so I best be off." I stood up to hug and say my goodbyes.

"I'll drive you home." Edward said, thanking his mother for food and standing up too, I smiled gratefully and said my goodbyes to everybody else. Just as we were about to leave the room, I heard a small voice behind me.

"It was me." I turned to face the voice. Confusion was all I felt.

"What?"

"It was me. I was the one. I wrote the letters."

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_Ohhhhh, so who do you think it is? I've had who it is from the getgo so whatever the people say it won't change lol. Since i already have the reason ;]_

_I hope you liked this and reviews are love (L) _


	12. Chapter 12

_Ehhh, sorry i took so darn long. And i left it at _a cliffhanger :/ _My shitorious exams have begun, in fact i had one earlier and I think i epically failed, so the results for that one should be fun :/ _

_Anyways, i dont know how long it will be till the next one but i hope you like this anyway! A couple of you guessed right, some of your thoughts made me lol. But nevertheless, review? Let me know what you thought. Did you guess right? Did you see it coming? Let meh know! :)_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

_"It was me." I turned to face the voice. Confusion was all I felt._

_"What?"_

_"It was me. I was the one. I wrote the letters."_

I couldn't believe it, after all this time. After discovering that Edward and me had been betrayed, desperate to know who and why they would do such a thing. The time when I most probably least wanted to know was the time it was revealed. How was that fair? How was any of this fair? How could he?

Carlisle.

I couldn't even process how I would feel about this. Edward. How was he feeling? His own father…why would his own father do this to him? Carlisle loved Edward, didn't he? I averted my gaze from Carlisle who was looking toward the floor and looked at Edward instead. His penetrating gaze was transfixed on his father, he had been holding onto my hand before Carlisle had revealed the truth, now his entire body had gone stiff, his fist almost clenching with betrayal and anger. The room was filled with deadly silence now, all surprised and shocked at the revelation, I guess. I wanted to look away from Edward; I didn't want to see the stricken expression that seemed permanently fixed on his face anymore. I wanted to see everybody else's reaction to the news. Did anybody else know? Were they hurt too? Surprised it was one of their own? Emmett? Alice? Esme…what was her reaction? Had she known? Did this mean that I was to hate Carlisle now? After all, I realised, I had given Edward a hell of a hard time, sure it was a completely different circumstance since I had been in love with Edward at the time, still was but what did that mean about my feelings for Carlisle? So many questions, I wanted answers. At least some of them. Wasn't I owed at least one or two? Wasn't Edward?

"Edward…" I whispered, beneath my breath so only he could hear it. He looked at me almost immediately. His eyes were filled with such sadness, I wanted to hold him, tell him everything was okay…but I didn't know if it was or not. How could I tell him everything was okay, if even I didn't know that? "Edward." I repeated as if to tell him, no matter what I was here. I didn't plan on running or avoiding him again, not like I had before. No way, I was standing by his side this time.

Rosalie flicked her eyes to me; I knew she was just as surprised as I was. Since me, Rosalie and Jasper were all _'outsiders',_ we weren't part of the Cullen clan, at least not by blood. It could have been anyone of us, so why did Carlisle feel so threatened by me?

I turned to Carlisle, fixing my gaze on him. I guess now was a good time as any to get some answers out of him.

"So…Carlisle?" I said it almost, questioningly. I almost refused to believe it, what he had said. Waiting to be punk'd any moment now. It couldn't be true. Carlisle? As soon as I had broken the silence it seemed everyone besides Edward had found they're voice all of a sudden.

"Carlisle? Why? It can't be true. You wouldn't…" Esme trailed off, glancing down at her husband. Confused and hurt. It was then that I realised just how much Edward looked like his mother, they were both wearing the same, despairing look upon their face.

Carlisle raised his eyes to look at his wife; they were filled with sorrow, searching in Esme's own, as if begging for forgiveness. Was Esme going to forgive him? He had put his son through a hell of a lot of pain the last few years but could Esme forget that for her husband? Could Edward for his father?

Everything was so screwed up; I had no idea how to react towards him, towards anybody. How was any relationship supposed to survive this? A romantic relationship and a family relationship.

Unable to stand the silence between us all any longer, I looked at Carlisle, no glare, no hate just…emotionless, I guess. I didn't know what to feel. I just needed answers, we all needed answers.

"Carlisle…" I began, I pulled the chair I had previously been sitting in, out and sat down, still grasping onto Edward's hand as if I was afraid to let go, he didn't follow suit though, he stood standing, however, still holding onto me too. "Why?" Was all I asked. Everybody else was seated apart from Edward now. Waiting. Listening.

"I was afraid-"

"What?" Edward questioned, I turned to look at him, begging him to let Carlisle speak. We needed to know, after all. He relented and slightly shook his head; he was annoyed, that much was obvious. I turned back to Carlisle, silently asking him to continue. He took a deep break and continued.

"I was afraid I was losing you, Edward." I grumbled in confusion. Edward and me would be with the Cullen's a lot of the time. Dinners, parties, you named it, we attended it together. "Edward." He shifted his eyes towards his son, Edward avoided them though, his only answer was an extra squeeze for my hand. I knew how difficult this was for him, so all I could think of doing was giving his hand a squeeze back. "Edward, me and you, we always talked about you following in my footsteps. You were destined to be the next me, you know?" Edward shifted his eyes slightly towards his father, a hint of glare in them; he nodded slightly, understanding what he was saying. As long as I had known Edward, his dream was to follow in Carlisle's path and become a not just as good but a better doctor then Carlisle ever was. Carlisle revelled in that fact, in fact he had always encouraged it. He wanted Edward to be better then him. "When you and Bella…" I shivered when he said my name, had he despised me all along? "First started going out, I was happy for you. She was a lovely girl-" He shifted his gaze towards me. "She still is and I am so happy that you two have found each other again-"

"Because you pulled us apart in the first place." Edward seethed, I understood where he was coming from, the same thought passed through my mind, the only difference was I hadn't voiced it. Esme begged Edward to let Carlisle continue.

"Thank you, Esme." Carlisle said, smiling at her. For the first time in my lifetime, I saw a hint of anger in Esme's eyes.

"I didn't do it for you. I want to know why you would do such a thing as this just like everyone else does." Carlisle gulped but continued.

"…But as the months went by, I could see you were focusing less time on your studies and more focus on your relationship and your friends, parties. You were risking the dream away!"

"I was entitled to having a life too, _Dad_."

"I know. I know that now, okay? I just forgot at the time. The only thing I could think of at that time was you becoming the doctor we had always planned for you to be. Your grades were dropping and not just by one or two marks, you were dropping whole grades, Edward. I was worried.

"I had another two years to go until I was even taking my exams. I wanted to have fun."

"Fun doesn't get you a career, Edward. Fun doesn't help increase your grades and your mind should have always been in the future. You think I became who I am today by messing around during school? I was focused, all the time."

"Yeah, and that's how you ended up being a teen father I suppose?" I was surprised when I realised those words hadn't come from Edward's mouth but Emmett's. Up until now, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett had stayed silent, listening, I suppose but I was surprised to see one of them reaching out and standing up for us.

"Yes, Emmett. I realised that. However, your mother knew that being a doctor was the most important thing for me, you and your mother were too and she supported me right up until I got there and even so afterwards."

"So what, you thought Bella wouldn't support me?"

"No of course- Wait." Carlisle began glancing between us. "Did Bella get pregnant at one point?" WHAT! Erm…yeah, no!

"Did you?" Oh great, now Esme was concerned. Edward sighed beside me.

"No, dad. Bella did not become pregnant. What I meant was, are you saying Bella wouldn't support me if the same thing that happened to you and mom, happened to us?" Carlisle…and it seemed everybody else, breathed a sigh of relief at Edward's statement.

"No, I didn't mean it like that-"

"Then what did you mean?" Edward cut across.

"Edward." I hushed, gripping his hand, silently begging him to keep quiet.

"I don't know. Edward. Looking back, I have no idea what I was even thinking. You have to believe me, seeing the pain that I caused you…both of you, I would never of done what I did. You have to believe that."

"We do." I found myself saying, slightly nodding. Did I believe it? I guess I did, without even realising it myself. I knew Carlisle; I know he wouldn't have done it intentionally to hurt either of us. He was, after all, looking out for Edward's future. I guess I was standing in the way of that. Edward whipped his head around and looked at me, eyes blazing. I shrugged and turned my attention back to Carlisle.

"So how did you do it?" Rosalie asked. Carlisle arched his eyebrow towards her. She gave a little glare; after all, I was her best friend. "I mean. The letters, the handwriting. How did you manage to pull it off?" Carlisle didn't like where this was going, it was written clear all over his face. Whatever he was about to say, was most likely to make us despise his actions or even him more then what we already did. I just knew.

"You really want to know?" He glanced around us, some of us nodded. "It will disgust you…it disgusts me just thinking, remembering it all." When no one spoke up, he continued. "I studied Bella's handwriting. Mine and Edward's was virtually the same, so that was a simple task but Bella's. Bella's was more difficult. It was sort of…scruffy." I grimaced at the insult of my handwriting, which I knew was terrible but I didn't particularly want it broadcasted. I knew both Rosalie and Edward would have laughed at his comments about my handwriting if the situation weren't so dire and tense. "One of the days, you had come round to see Alice, you left your notebook here. I took it and studied, practiced for days." I couldn't remember a notebook going missing, I had so many I barely noticed if I lost one. "When the time came to actually write the letters, I attempted Bella's first though. I guess, hoping, knowing I would get it wrong often, maybe one of the many failed attempts would make me realise what I was doing was wrong. Just as the thought entered my mind, after the seventh attempt, I was ready to give up and then I got it right. It looked the same. I couldn't believe it. Edward's I completed like I was writing anything just normally. And then before I knew it, they were wrapped, sealed and ready for posting."

There was a deadly silence that erupted in the room when Carlisle finished. That was it. The end of the story. We knew it all now, so what happened from here? Where did we go? I didn't want this to break up me and Edward, it already succeeded once, I wouldn't let it happen again. Esme burst into tears, Emmett, who had been standing next to her and Rosalie next to him, wrapped his arms around her and the both of them led her out the room. Alice, who hadn't uttered a word since dinner, stood up and stormed out the room, upstairs towards her own, I presumed, without a word, Jasper followed quickly. Carlisle placed his head in his hands, I even thought I saw a tear escaping his left eye but I didn't want to inspect it. It made sense. He could have possibly just ruined everything.

He reached his hand across the table, as if to attempt to take Edward's.

"Edward, please. I never wanted this. Really I didn't. If I could go back now, I would change it. I would change it all. Please. Say something."

Edward raised his head and looked towards his father, one hand gripping mine, the other clenching tightly.

"You want me to say something?" He slowly stood up, towering over Carlisle, letting go of my hand. I had never seen him look so hateful yet distraught at the same time. Carlisle nodded, gradually. "I hate you." I gasped. He didn't. I knew he didn't, he was just upset. He would get past this. I knew it. "How's that for something?" And with that he turned and headed out of the house, I watched him out of the window, running down the path, the rain already beginning to soak him.

It was just Carlisle and me now. I was surprised at how okay I was with him. After all the pain he had caused, what was the point in hating him now? I had thrown hatred around for the last three years. I had thrown it at Edward mostly but at Alice too, at my parents when I was so hurt, and Rosalie when we had fought over her contact with the Cullen's. I had what I wanted now, I felt like part of the family again, I loved Edward and I was constantly reassured that he loved me. S

"Bella, I am-"

"Sorry. I know." I started and then I managed a small smile. "Its okay, Carlisle. Really." I stood up and walked around towards him, leaning in and giving him a hug. I was okay with Carlisle and I needed him to know that. He was tense at first, probably waiting to see if I would suddenly become violent towards him or something but I wouldn't. And sure enough, he hugged me back.

Why should I hate Carlisle? If anything I should thank him because he's made mine and Edward's love for each other stronger. And this time, I'm going to fight for it.

* * *

_Bella aint giving up ;) Review? ;) _


	13. Chapter 13

_Sooo, not as long of a wait but still a wait:/ Sorry guys. But hey, its longer ;p _

_Good news is my exams are OVER! Whooo, which means i get my life back. And i got a job. xD So, i may be a little busy but i will still find time to write this story. [In regards to this story PLEASE read the AN at the bottom.:)] _

_So, i got some pretty negative reviews last time with the way i wrote Bella and her response to Carlisle, fair does and all. However, although it is explained several times in the story -I'll go over it just quickly ;) The reason i made Bella respond like that was because when she and Edward broke up she was pretty much hateful towards everyone and basically she doesnt want to return to that again. But she has NOT completely forgiven Carlisle, i'm sorry if i didnt make that clear. :/ _

_But yeah, anyways. I hope you like this chapter. Not many more to come after this ;)_

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

I left the Cullen's house shortly after. I was so confused. I didn't know what to feel. Edward had left some time ago, maybe I should have gone after him straight away but I needed Carlisle to know. We spoke for a little bit afterwards. He wasn't completely forgiven by me, maybe he never would but I didn't hate him. I'd hated for so long, almost everyone. If it weren't for Rosalie, I would have had no friends for a long time, the first year after I left Forks. I made it so hard for my mother and her husband Phil to be around me. I was snapping all the time, I snapped at Rosalie too and she just took it. She never takes crap from anyone but she took it from me. Because she knew, if there was anyone who knew everything about me, it wasn't Edward, it was Rosalie. I barely spoke to my father on the phone, I almost abandoned him. I gave one-word answers but still he pressed on. Even now, I'd never realised how much shit I had given out to the people who loved me – and how much they had taken it and pretty much ignored it all.

Was it fate? That both Edward and me happened to be at the same University? Was it fate playing in? I hadn't seen or spoken to a Cullen in three years and then what? The entire clan is suddenly at my University? Does that _really_ happen? I'd never really believed in fate before but then Edward and me…reunited. And I found out something I had always wanted to know. Why? For the majority of the time, I had wanted to know _why_ Edward had written the letters but then I had wanted to know why would someone want to break Edward and me up? Maybe it was fate, fate explaining the truth to me. Yeah, well it was three years late.

I sighed, at first I had wondered how I was going to deal with all the mess surrounding Edward's re-appearance in my life, then it was the drama with who actually wrote the letters, now this? Carlisle, was this drama never-ending? I was tired of it. I just wanted everything to be dropped; Edward and me were together again. Finally! And what? We couldn't even be a couple because of this. Because of Carlisle. I pushed the bitterness to the back of my mind. I promised myself. No more. It was over. Done. Now all I needed was to focus on Edward.

If I knew Edward – and I did, it meant he was a mess right now and that in turn meant he needed me. He needed me to be by his side and comfort him the way someone who loves him should.

I searched all over campus for Edward, the café, the on-campus bar, the library, anywhere where there was a place for someone who was feeling lost to hide, I was looking. But he was nowhere.

After hours of searching, I decided to grab some coffee and give Rosalie a call, hoping she was with Emmett and that he would have some idea where Edward may be. Rosalie answered after just the first ring.

"Bella? You okay? Edward?" I inwardly groaned, she was asking about Edward. Which meant she didn't know where he was either. I sighed, annoyed and frustrated.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was actually calling to see if maybe you had seen Edward." I could sense Rosalie shaking her head, no.

"Oh Bella, I haven't seen him not since…well not since he left earlier. I was hoping he would be with you. Emmett. He's so angry. After both you and Edward left he had come storming downstairs, f-ing this and f-ing that. I don't think I've ever seen Carlisle look so petrified, Bella; the blood had literally drained from his face. I swear Bella, I really thought he was going to hit him." I hadn't realised I had been holding in my breath all this time. Emmett? He was the biggest, strongest guy I knew and yet, inside was just like a cuddly teddy bear. He couldn't hurt anyone more or less his own father. But then Emmett always had been like a brother to me. More so then anyone else.

"Jesus, Rose. God, this is all messed up." For a moment I felt like just bursting into tears. Why now? Why did Carlisle have to bring it up now? We could have gotten passed this! Edward and I, we didn't desperately need to know. We were happy and we would have been content with the writer of the letters remaining a mystery. It was then that I realised, I was more mad at Carlisle for bringing up the subject of the letters then him actually writing them. Was I screwed up or what? I heard Rosalie sigh, almost defeated, at the end of the line.

"I know Bella. Don't worry though; we'll sort this all out together. I promise. I realise how sorry Carlisle is. Its written all over his face." I nodded but didn't say anything. I knew this. "Would you hate me if I said I felt bad for him?" I gave out a low chuckle. She sounded so worried, I don't know what I would do without Rose.

"Of course not Rosalie. I know what you mean. I…I don't hate Carlisle for what he did, you know? I just…I don't know. I just don't hate him, that's all."

"I know, Bella. It was so heartbreaking. Alice refused to come out of her room and Esme…I don't think I've ever seen Esme so hateful looking. I swear, Bella. She flinched when he touched her arm and almost broke down when he said her name." I hadn't even thought about what effect this would have on Esme, at least not much anyway. Her husband turning on her own son. Could this be the end of Carlisle and Esme? If I could forgive him and hopefully help Edward forgive him…would Esme be able to forgive him too? One day?

"So you haven't seen him then?" I replied, feeling defeated. Where was he?

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'd ask Emmett but he's so angry right now, I think he's about ready to break everything he owns." I smiled softly. _Emmie bear._

"Yeah, that's okay. Thanks for everything Rose. I love you. And tell Emmett, I love him too." I heard her chuckle on the other end of the phone. "Crazy mother-fucker." I muttered but Rosalie heard it, after our giggles died down, we said our goodbyes and agreed to meet up the next day.

I groaned and headed off in the direction of the gym, I was hoping maybe Edward would be there, letting of some steam or something. He had to be somewhere and I knew he was still on campus since he hadn't taken the car with him. It was still at the Cullen's or at least had been when I left.

I headed inside the gym, despite the fact that it was dark and there were no lights on, I highly doubted that Edward was in there but I just wanted to check just in case.

I switched on the nearest light to me, it lit up and I realised I was in the room with all the weights and the punching bags. This was the room Emmett and Edward came to mostly, if memory served correctly. I knew Emmett was more of a weight mad but I had never realised it about Edward. Jasper was more of a running man so he tended to head towards the adjoining room which stocked all the treadmills, I would occasionally find Edward in there but more so he was on the weights or the punching bag. It depended on how angry he was.

At that thought, I headed over to the row of punching bags, there were several in all different sizes and weight, the one at the end, however had a slight swing to it. But only slight. It could have last been hit, just under ten minutes ago. As I stepped closer, I saw smudges of blood. Not a lot but it was definitely blood. Someone must have had a lot of anger inside them. Edward.

He had been here alright, he just wasn't anymore.

I was starting to be nervous about whether I wanted to find Edward, at least tonight. What mood was he going to be in? And how was he going to react towards me? Instead of moving on and going off to find him at some other destination, I decided to head back to my dorm room. I figured I would be alone tonight since Rosalie was obviously spending the night with Emmett, trying to comfort him and Rosalie had said on the phone that Alice refused to come out of her room. So I doubted she would be making her way back to our dorm. If anything she would spend the night with Jasper, him comforting her.

Both of my friends were being comforted or comforting, where was Edward, so I could comfort him? He needed me and I couldn't even fucking find him. Before heading to my room, I quickly headed towards Edward's dorm; in hopes he would be there, perhaps even sleeping the night off, though I doubted he would get much sleep tonight.

When I knocked on the door, I was presented with silence. Dammit, he wasn't here. Or he was just choosing to ignore him. I prayed to God, it wasn't the latter. I wanted him to want me right now and I was hoping he wasn't going to push me away. But then didn't I deserve it? Hadn't I pushed _him_ away to begin with? I sighed, if he pushed me away that was fine, I wasn't going to give up because Edward didn't give up on me.

I decided to relent and just head home, I'd try again to find Edward again in the morning, hopefully he had calmed down after his punching-bag escapade by then. As I was just turning the corner down my hall and was searching in my bag to grab my dorm keys when I saw just a glint of bronze hair out of the corner of my eye. I felt my heart stop and my stomach lurch.

I stopped where I was, my keys dangling from my hands, making a slight noise after being rattled. When I looked over towards my door, I saw him. Edward. He was waiting for me by my dorm. I had to mentally stop myself from kicking myself for not getting here sooner. How long had he been waiting here? Had he come straight after the gym?

When he sensed someone's presence, he looked up and locked his eyes with mine; I gave him a soft smile, trying to emit some sort of hope towards him. He looked so broken, I felt for a second that I was looking at a lost little boy who had just been ripped apart by the one person he looked up to more then anybody else in his own world. I felt my heart break for him.

I slowly made my way towards him, I was almost afraid I was going to cause him to run off. I wanted to so badly take him into my arms but instead I slid down the wall opposite him and sat in the same position he was in.

We stayed silent for a few moments; my hands were by my side whilst his were in his hair, of course. It was Edward's favourite place to put his hands, _except on me. _I mentally scolded myself, it wasn't exactly the greatest time to be thinking such thoughts given the past few hours circumstances.

I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want to ruin the peace if that's what Edward was searching for. Instead, I watched him. I searched his face for any emotion I could find, I wanted to know what he was feeling. But Edward had always been so good at hiding his emotions, particularly with me, he always wanted to protect from it or something but that was Edward. Except now, every emotion he could possibly be feeling was present on his face, anger, sadness, betrayal, sorrow, the list could go on and on. How was he ever going to recover from this? I leaned forward and took his hand in mind. He flinched at first, as if forgetting where he was but when he looked up and saw me, looking into my eyes his body softened, his lips slightly curled upwards but quickly returned to its previous stance.

I rubbed my finger over the side of his hand until I came across his knuckles, they were bruised and were coated with blood, the blood was damp but beginning to dry. So my theory had been correct. I wanted to cry for him but I hoped it had been soothing for him instead. I looked at him and he shrugged, as if to say, it was just to escape the pain. I nodded in understanding and gently rubbed my fingers over his knuckles, he winced as I came to the middle one. I leaned down and gently kissed them before standing up and grabbing my keys, unlocking the door. I held out my hand towards him and after a few moments, he took it. Slowly standing up and following me inside, I closed the door behind him and headed straight towards the freezer, hoping Rosalie hadn't eaten all the ice cubes. She had a thing for ice cubes just on there own. Every now and then she would head to the freezer and just grab one, probably out of boredom.

I was relieved to see that there was in fact half a tray left over, I took the tray and threw it against the counter a couple of times, making Edward jump. If he hadn't of looked so torn, I would have probably laughed a little. I put them in a tea towel, folding it up and placing it on Edward's beaten knuckles, softly.

He took a deep breath, surprised from the coldness of the ice and the way they affected them, nevertheless he took it and placed his hand in my free one.

I smiled softly; I had no idea how we were going to overcome this. Everything was just a mess. A big fat mess.

After a while, I began to release my little homemade icepack and checked to see if Edward's knuckles were okay. They weren't doing particularly brilliant but looked specifically better then what they had done previously. Edward leaned forward, resting his forehead on my own, he was taller then me but since he was sitting down and I was standing, the height was almost perfect. I rested it against his own as well, revelling in the peace and warmth it brought just being this close to him again. Twenty-four hours ago we had made love together, it now felt like a lifetime ago.

I brought my hand up to nestle in his hair, whilst his hand settled on one side of my face, gently rubbing his bruised knuckled over my cheek. Our faces simultaneously moved in closer as I felt his lips softly brush past mine. I was hesitant at first, was this really the best time to do this? But then I shrugged it off, if anything this was exactly what Edward needed, this kind of comfort. _My kind of comfort. _

I shrugged of my thoughts and kissed Edward back with just the same amount of force he had kissed me with. He kissed me back with more passion this time, I eagerly responded as I felt his tongue against my lips, begging for entrance, I parted my mouth to allow it in, massaging his with my own.

I momentarily pulled away as I felt Edward's hand wrap around my wrist pulling my around the counter and closer to him. He pushed me up against his body, arching my back on the counter. I would have no doubt noticed how actual painful this position was if it wasn't for Edward kissing me.

As time went on, our kisses became rougher and more passionate yet still maintained a softer rhythm. My hand that was still running through Edward's hair came down, my fingers softly slipping against the side of his face onto his chest. I ran my hand up and down his chest several times, my other arm wrapped around his neck, whilst one of his were wrapped around my waist, the other running up and down my leg. It was almost like my hand had a mind of its own as it made its way to begin to undo the buttons on Edward's shirt. One by one, until I pushed the material of him and discarded it to the floor.

As we made our way through the rooms and into mine, our clothes began to decrease in number, each piece scattered across the floor. By the time we were present in my bedroom, we were only in our underwear. As I backed my way into my bed, puling Edward down with me as I went, his hands were already on my bra clasp, in a second he had pulled it of me and thrown it into a heap on the floor.

I felt his hand run smooth circles over my breast as my own fought its way into his boxer briefs, one trying to pull them down the other rubbing up and down against his cock. I was surprised when I felt Edward's hand across my own, stopping it and stilling my movements. I felt his head shake in the crook of my neck where he had previously been placing soft kisses.

"No. No…just you, I just need you." I knew exactly what he meant as I continued pulling down his boxers and felt him pull my panties down over my legs, it wasn't long before my bra was accompanied by my panties.

Edward placed one more kiss across my lips before he entered me, the kiss became rougher as the strokes became faster and harder. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer and feeling him go in deeper. I kissed him one last time before I felt everything let loose and he emptied himself inside me.

I gasped and lay across my bed as Edward and I both got under the covers, I pressed myself against Edward's chest, not caring that it was sweaty and sticky. Just feeling him against was enough.

As I lay across Edward's chest several hours later, I felt spent but barely realised it. I would have thought it was still a simple late night if my clock was flashing in a red, neon sign, 3:37 AM. My eyes bugged out when they realised the time and yet I wasn't tired in the least. As far as I could tell, Edward was still awake as I felt his chest move up and down in sync with his breathing, sometimes a little erratic. His arm was thrown around the back of my neck also, his thumb gently running up and down one of my arms.

I wanted to break the peace but then I figured, maybe this is what Edward needed? Maybe all he needed was someone for him to hold; maybe I was just comforting him now by being there rather then saying anything to him.

"Do you think I'll ever be able to forgive him?" I was surprised that after such a long time, Edward had broken the silence and with that question. I honestly didn't have the answer; a part of me told that Edward would never fully be able to forgive Carlisle. I shrugged a little before turning onto my front so I could face him, he turned his head to the side to look at me. I smiled, sheepishly.

"Honestly? I have no idea, Edward." I sighed. "I hope one day you can. We both can. Your fathers a good guy Edward, he just made a mistake-" He groaned.

"A mistake? A mistake, Bella? That mistake was my life, our life!" I closed my eyes, I wasn't expecting him to be happy but I wasn't expecting that reaction either.

"I know, Edward. I just-"

"You just what? I mean, how can you forgive him so easily, Bella?"

"I haven't forgiven him!" He looked at me, his eyebrows arched, giving me his pointed look. I retreated. "I haven't completely forgiven him." He scoffed. "So what? Because I don't hate the man or…or I don't spit out his name that means I'm wrong?" Edward started rolling his eyes until I looked away, annoyed. "Look, I understand why you're feeling like this Edward but, I just…I hated so many people for such a long time. I don't, I don't want to hate anymore." I looked back at him, tears beginning to form in my eyes as I recounted the harsh memories and the way I used to be. "I wasn't nice and it wasn't a nice way to live or be. I'm finally getting what I wanted. I'm getting you and if being nice to Carlisle means I get to keep you, then so be it. I respect your feelings Edward. I hope you can respect mine too."

It took him a few moments before responding. He nodded and then placed his hand on my shoulder, nudging me to lean closer to which I did happily, leaning down and kissing him, softly.

"I love you, Edward." I murmured, rubbing my nose against his own, rubbing it up and down as he nuzzled the side of his face into my neck. "And I don't want to lose you again. Ever."

I felt him smile against my neck before placing a soft kiss there, as he moved up, still kissing me until he reached my lips, a kiss lasting just a few seconds longer this time. When he pulled away he placed his forehead against my own before smiling gently.

"You'll never lose me Bella. Not again. That, I promise you."

* * *

_What did you think? ;)_

_About this story, it only has a couple of chapters left, that i know however i have no clue how i am actually going to end it yet! But yes, it only has about 2 chapters left ;o _

_That being said, i am going to work on a new Twilight fic all but straight away. Its going to be SO much different to this one. Mainly because it will be happy? ;p _

_I know i've mentioned this before in early chapters but i've added another idea that i came up with so i've completely re-done it. I have a poll on my profile that has 3 ideas for my next Edward and Bella story, i actually really like them so hopefully you guys will too! So yeah, whichever one is the most popular and recieves the most votes, i will write next. _

_The poll is on my profile so go VOTE! ;) That is if you want me to write again... ;p _


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